Position Wanted

Yesterday, I got a very interesting e-mail. The sender seems to be wanting me to hire him for a job, and included his resume’. Looking it over, I don’t think I’ll hire the guy.

Barack H.Obama
P. O. Box 8102, Chicago, IL 60680
(866) 675-2008

Objective:
To be hired as President Of The United States

Education:
Occidental College, 1979-1981. Major: Recreational pharmacology
Columbia University, 1981-1983. Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science.
Harvard Law School, 1988-1991. J.D., magna cum laude.

Experience:
1983-1984: Business International Corporation. Rewrote articles and reports from foreign services for domestic clients.

1984-1985: New York Public Interest Research Group. “Community Organizing.” More details available upon request.

1985-1988: Developing Communities Project. Director. Raised money, hired staff, gave it up because felt like wasn’t achieving anything and enrolled in law school.

1993-2004: University of Chicago Law School. Visiting Fellow/Senior Lecturer in Constitutional Law. No articles published, no outstanding achievements.

1993-2002: Davis, Miner, Barnhill, & Galland. Associate Attorney. Sued the state of Illinois to enforce the Motor Voter Law. Represented non-profits and other organizations. No other particulars available, but general client list of entire firm available upon request.

1995-2002: Chicago Annenberg Challenge. Chairman (1995-1999), Board Member (1999-2002). Helped raise and oversaw over $150 million to help improve Chicago’s schools. Steered most of it to cronies of fellow Board member William Ayers (who hired me). Final results showed no improvement in schools we sponsored versus those we did not, but greatly increased the influence of Ayers’ progressive/socialist/communist/Maoist cronies and their agendas.

1998-2001: The Joyce Foundation. Board member. Helped develop strategies to overturn the 2nd Amendment and outlaw the private possession of handguns.

1996-2004: Illinois State Senate. Senator for the 13th District. Sponsored a bill requiring police interrogations of capitol crime suspects be videotaped. Instrumental in killing a bill that would have outlawed the practice of leaving newborn infants who survive abortion procedures to die unattended and alone. Got on the bandwagon for a far-reaching ethics reform bill that did almost nothing to clean up Illinois’ legendary corruption. Voted “present” instead of “aye” or “nay” whenever issues that might have forced me to take a side came up.

2004-2008: United States Senate. Junior Senator for Illinois. Showed up occasionally before announcing candidacy for president. Got on board for law on nuclear proliferation. Chaired the Senate Foreign Relations Subcommittee on Foreign Affairs, but haven’t held a single meeting. Claimed to be a member of the Senate Banking Committee.

References:

Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Trinity United Church of Christ

Professor William Ayers, former terrorist

Professor Bernardine Dohrn, former terrorist

Anthony Rezko, businessman

Rashid Khalidi, former spokesman, Palestine Liberation Organization

Reverend Louis Farrakhan, leader, Nation of Islam

References Available Upon Request

Racist!

For your Sunday viewing satisfaction- True Lies
Silence of the Lambs: The 2008 Campaign In A Single Sentence