Honoring Our Fathers: Stewardship of the Gravy Train

It’s time America got on board with the new bipartisanship emerging in our great Nation’s capital. There is a New Day (TM) dawning in America, with good will toward men and other people’s money for all. Well, almost all. Except for those ‘other people.’

Nancy Pelosi, speaking at Google offices, said that a Congress dominated by even more Democrats will actually be more bipartisan. Pelosi said, “Elect us, hold us accountable, and make a judgment and then go from there. But I do tell you that if the Democrats win and have substantial majorities, Congress of the United States will be more bipartisan.”

Which two partisan approaches she thinks will be working together remains unclear, but past performance and conduct would suggest that both sides will be working together; Those who support Barack Obama and Socialism and those who hate George W. Bush and Conservatism. And I have to be honest, I’m getting excited about it all.

Howard Dean also assuaged fears of partisan divide. In noting that both proponents of socialism and opponents of conservatism will work together amicably, Dean assured, “Republicans had a chance to rule. They failed miserably. I think it’s time to give the other party a chance.”

The Peace and Prosperity Coalition is building, acquiring cooperative membership from all sides: Democrats, Obama Supporters, Bush Haters and the Media. Peace in our time, and “political and economic justice” to boot. Once we can “break free.”

“Break free”? Oh yes, brothers and sisters, Break Free!

With the bipartisanship extended all the way from Capitol Hill to the White House, President Obama will finally have the visionary cooperation necessary to “break free from the essential constraints that were placed by the Founding Fathers in the Constitution” and get to work for the American people in exacting “redistributive change.”

After all, nothing’s more fun than spending other peoples’ money. And 95% of us are getting more of that. It’s been promised. And we deserve it, after all. Talk about your ultimate stimulus package… Now I know what Chris Matthews felt like. I’m getting a tingling feeling running up my leg just thinking about the shopping spree that awaits me and my family.

Now, where can I go to sign up for the new Civilian Defense Force? There is unrest and violence on farms across this nation that the millions of police departments, sheriffs departments, FBI, ATF, and the Armed Forces have long refused to put down. And it’s high time we stood up.

When we get to the farms and put down the violent oppressors, the patriotic duty is to paint on the barn sides “All animals are equal.” For a new chapter has truly begun.

Our fathers and grandfathers would be so proud. “What stewardship!” they surely would proclaim, “What stewardship!”

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