Maybe he should use a crock pot in the future

At least one part of this story sounds like an urban legend.

Odum Chaloeurn went to jail on an empty stomach.

The apparently very agile 48-year-old Lowell man chased and caught a squirrel by its tail Wednesday, cops said. And that’s only half the tale.

Who the heck successfully runs down a squirrel? Speedy Gonzalez?

Chaloeurn pulled a “Survivor” on the squirrel, whipping it against a tree to kill it. Then, the resourceful wildlife gourmand placed the carcass into a makeshift backyard oven and began delicately roasting the little tree rat with a blowtorch.

One of Ann Althouse’s commenters wrote-

I wonder what the charge would be if he had sauteed the squirrel in butter and garlic, then slowly simmered it the rest of the afternoon in mushrooms and Chianti and served it at dusk with polenta while Vivaldi played on the digital radio and his girlfriend slipped into something comfortable?

You could also put it on shish kabobs and cook via a George Foreman grill.

When police arrived about 3:30 p.m. they found Chaloeurn still cooking the mouth-watering squirrel over an open flame.

Police arrested Chaloeurn and charged him with animal cruelty, despite his insistence that the rodent’s leaping days were over before he applied the torch.

Will a necropsy be done to validate Chaloeurn’s claim? Maybe it should be done in public like the whale necropsy done in Florida a few years ago. Someone can sell tickets.

BTW Is hunting squirrel illegal?

For most of the state, it’s open season on squirrels. A person may hunt the arboreal rodents as long as they have a hunting license. In Wildlife Management Zone 10, however, which includes Lowell, squirrel season starts tomorrow. It is unclear whether wildlife officers intend to cite Chaloeurn.

Of course Chaloeurn will be cited. I think he should fry. What do you think?

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