Papers, Please!

Joe Treacher fisks the New York Times KGB Briefing on Joe the Plumber and The Encounter. Holy hotness, batman. I don’t know which is funnier, the Times’ ‘chronicle’ or Treacher’s systematic dismantling thereof.

And Joe may or may not be a symbol of entrepreneurial spirit. Sure, he says he wants to start his own business in the field he’s spent years making a career in, but what does that really prove? The NYT wouldn’t want to express an opinion on it one way or another.

Just five days ago, Mr. Wurzelbacher, 34, lived in anonymity in Holland, Ohio, a single father who, as he said on national television, worked all day and came home to fix dinner and help his son, 13, with his homework.

But he became the hero of conservatives and Republicans when he stopped Mr. Obama, who was campaigning on his street, and asked whether he believed in the American dream. Mr. Wurzelbacher said he was concerned about having to pay higher taxes as an owner of a small business.

He stopped Obama in the street? Holy racism, he tried to mug Obama!

No, actually, Obama approached him. The One was gracing The Many with his presence by going around door to door in Joe’s neighborhood. Because Obama is A Man Of The People (Who Do Not Displease Him With Their Effrontery). Joe was in his yard playing football with his kid, and Obama saw a photo op. Whoops. So get it straight: Joe was visited by the Messiah, not the other way around.

Oh there’s more…

There’s more — almost 1,000 words in all, because it’s just that big of a story — but you get the idea. Cut to the big finish:

In his interview with Ms. Couric, Mr. Wurzelbacher, who voted Republican in Ohio’s March primary

Say, how did Couric vote in the New York primary?

said that his encounter with Mr. Obama had been prompted by his desire “to ask one of these guys a question, and really corner them and get them to answer a question for once instead of tap dancing around it. And unfortunately I asked the question, but I still got a tap dance.”

He added, “He was almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr.”

Get the picture, America? That’s right: Joe the Plumber just called Obama a Jew.

Forgive, Joe, for such extensive excerpting. But for those disinclined to follow the link like good boys and girls, you simply have to see the Treacher Treats.

Best NYT story since Jayson Blair left to pursue other opportunities. Clear some shelf space for your Pulitzer, Larry.

P.S. It might be presumptuous, but I hereby propose we change “fisking” to “Rohter-rooting.”

P.P.S. The whole “He’s not a licensed plumber!” non sequitur is really fantastic. So, if you happen to be standing in front of Obama when he publicly reveals his socialism, what does the media do? Demands to see your papers. That’s just delicious, is what that is.

The election of Barack Obama would dance dangerously close in itself to a violation of the Constitution. The First Amendment includes direction that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” But then, it depends on what the definition of is is. Because the official establishment of the First United Church of The O would be exacted through Executive Order as an expression of the Will of the People, not Congress. That zany “living, breathing document.”

Both new and old meanings to the rekindled command, “Papers, Please!”

Brace yourselves. Because a friend who is a registered independent (the prime target folks) in the battleground state of Colorado has received between 100-150 calls and visits from Obama campaigners in recent weeks. Not a call or visit of any type from the McCain camp. And I hear the same thing about Virginia.

And in my parts, people ask me where in the Peoples’ Republic of New Jersey they can find a McCain sign. Answer: Not on anyone’s lawn, that’s for sure. I am certain there is a store of them at the county HQ, but why on earth would a campaign make it so hard for folks to find or get hold of? Sure, the PRNJ has zero shot at going McCain. But the Party finds each election increasingly difficult, with zero to build from. Wonder why?

The End Of The Lessons Of Watergate
What A Difference Two Years Makes