Found Defective, Returned

Oh, my. I find myself positively verkempt and absolutely gobsmacked at the inhumanity of the plight of Jeremy Hinzman.

For those of you unfamiliar with this persecuted martyr, Mr. Hinzman is a US Army deserter currently living in Canada.

Mr. Hinzman enlisted in the Army early in 2001, well before 9/11. He volunteered for the infantry, and later for airborne training. Then, later, he decided that he didn’t think the war in Iraq was legal and didn’t want to take part. He filed for conscientious objector status, but it was denied. So he chose to take his wife and head for Canada, where he applied for refugee status.

Well, it’s taken a few years, but the Canadian court system has decided that he doesn’t qualify to be treated as a refugee or potential victim of political persecution should he return to the US. Instead, he will simply be held to the contract he voluntarily signed back in 2001, and held accountable for his willful violations of the laws regarding desertion. He has until September 23 to get the hell out of Canada.

I’m not so sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, he did make the commitment and he did break the law, and he ought to be held accountable for his misdeeds. People like him need to be held responsible for their actions.

On the other hand, he’s a weaselly scumbag, and both the Army and the nation are better off without him.

Here’s my compromise: he’s facing up to five years in prison. Offer him three, plus a free one-way ticket for him to any other country in the world, under the condition that he not come back for at least ten years. (If he wants to take his family with him, let him pony up for them — or get his legions of supporters to kick in.)

He made a commitment, of his own free will. It’s no “violation of human rights” to insist that he abide by his commitment, like millions of other Americans have done over the last 35+ years since the draft ended. And it’s no “violation of human rights” to invoke the laws and rules he agreed to abide by when he signed his enlistment papers.

Jeremy Hinzman.is no hero. He is no victim. He is no martyr.

He’s a whiny asshole, and he’s about to be held accountable for his deeds.

Cry me a freaking river.

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