Why Isn’t She Locked Up Somewhere?

Last Friday, as President Bush was giving a speech to a bunch of brand-new American citizens (wow… imagine becoming an American on Independence Day, with the President himself attending and congratulating you. Makes me almost wish I hadn’t been born an American so I could do something like that.), the narcissistic assholes at Code Pink showed up and raised their usual ruckus. And, as usual, the cops hauled ’em off.

The first Pink Stinker to strike is “Desiree Farooz,” who runs at the president waving her banner or pantaloons or something. If that name seems familiar, it’s because she was the same dipshit who assaulted Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice last October.

Missed that? Secretary Rice was in the Capitol to give testimony to the Senate Appropriations Committee when Farooz, from the audience, leaped up and charged her, shouting and waving bloody hands. She got close enough to put her hands around Secretary Rice’s head and stood there for several seconds before security officers hauled her off.

Here’s video, posted by someone who wholeheartedly approves of Farooz’s actions:

As I watched the Rice/Farooz video, it seemed strangely familiar to me. Nothing about the action or the people or the consequences of it, but the general atmosphere, the timing, all put me in mind of another incident where a nutjob got a little too close and escaped scrutiny:

By the timers on each video, Hinckley got off all his shots in about two seconds. Farooz, on the other hand, got within literally inches of the Secretary of State of the United States and stayed there, shouting and waving her hands at her head, for about twice that.

At the time of the Rice incident, I said that if I were President Bush, I’d inform the congressional leadership that they had seen the last of any administration officials on Capitol Hill until some serious guarantees were given for their physical safety. SOMEONE gave Farooz and her fellow psychopaths passes to the hearing, SOMEONE told the Capitol Police (who have had more than their share of run-ins with Code Stink) to not make sure they were excluded, SOMEONE made sure that there was no security officer in front of Dr. Rice, only behind her.

And it just isn’t Code Pink and their stupid theatrics. Farooz assaulted the person third fourth in line for the presidency. Numerous other conservatives have been the victims of assault and battery for the sin of being an outspoken conservative.

The trick, you see, is to use a pie as your weapon. If you attack some public figure with a pie, then it’s only a prank. No one takes it overly seriously.

That’s why the guy who pied Vermont’s sitting governor, Jim Douglas, will most likely not get charged with anything serious.

Other conservatives have been given the pie treatment at public appearances. Ann Coulter managed to dodge two thrown by assholes in Tuscon. Pat Buchanan got nailed with salad dressing. (That one I can almost accept, it being Pat Buchanan.) William Kristol was pied in Indiana.

Those are just four off the top of my head. I’m sure that you folks can name your own.

Yes, a pie in the face is classic slapstick comedy. But it’s also assault and battery. It’s also a form of the “heckler’s veto” — shutting down the speaker through physical means. (Coulter, Kristol, and Rice continued their scheduled appearances; Buchanan, who was quite thoroughly messed, canceled his speech to go clean himself up.)

These are the same people who tend to say things like “violence is never the answer.” (Unless, apparently, it’s funny and applied to people you don’t like.) These are the ones who shout most loudly about THEIR rights, as they cheerfully violate those of others.

And I wonder where it will lead.

Shouting and waving signs used to be the traditional forms of protest. That didn’t work well enough. So now the protesters need to get literally “in the face” with their adversaries and MAKE THEM SHUT UP.

I see how this can lead, and I don’t like it. Sooner or later some speaker (or a security guard) will see the pie-wielding would-be assailant rushing the stage and stop them — forcefully.

Maybe even fatally.

Then we’ll really hear the howls of protest. “Murder” will be the least of the charges they’ll make.

I was 13 when President Reagan was shot. I saw that video above over and over and over and over. I don’t need to wonder what might happen when some psycho with something in his (or her) hands gets too close to someone prominent, I’ve seen it.

So when I see some crazed person rush someone of some renown, like President Bush or Secretary Rice or Coulter or Buchanan or Kristol, I find myself hoping like hell that the most serious casualty will be a suit of clothes.

And not another Ronald Reagan. Or Pim Fortuyn. Or John Lennon. Or Theo Van Gogh. Or Rebecca Schaeffer.

All attacked (and, with the exception of the amazingly lucky Reagan, killed) by nutcases that got too close and weren’t stopped.

Code Pink has exactly one useful purpose: they serve as a handy way to identify a whole group of assholes at once. And I think they are rapidly approaching (if not past) the point where that continues to be a useful function.

Time to shut them down before someone gets hurt.

If we’re lucky, it’ll only be one of them.

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