Well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the idiot girls of Gloucester, Massachusetts who got together and decided to all get pregnant while still in high school. And the more I think about them, the more my blood pressure rises. So, in the interests of saving myself an aneurysm, I’m going to just let fly with my purest, uncensored fury.
For just a little while, I wish I was Supreme Dictator. And I would take those girls in Gloucester and make of them an example for the nation.
First up, I’d take every single member of the school system there who talked about how their little pact is because of inadequate access to birth control and ban them from ever working with minors ever again. These girls had all the technical information they needed about sex — they knew exactly how pregnancy occurs, and did everything they could to facilitate it. You could have given them each a thousand condoms, offered them cases of pills, enough IUDs to dam a river, and it would not have done a damned bit of good. They WANTED to have unprotected sex because they KNEW that that was the only way to get pregnant, and they WANTED to get pregnant. Those alleged “educators” are so stupid (or ideologically blinded, which is much the same) to be allowed anywhere near children.
Next, I’d sit those girls down and explain the REAL facts of life to them. That our welfare system is intended (at least under my dictatorship) to help those who need help, not those who choose to put themselves at a disadvantage. If they were counting on the government (i.e., everyone else) to pick up the tab for their choices, they were woefully mistaken.
Historically, the biggest bargaining chip for security has been freedom. So if they want absolute security, they need to absolutely surrender their freedom.
And years ago, David Gerrold gave what I have learned is the best definition of “freedom:” “the right to be responsible for your actions.”
These girls have shown absolutely no interest in being responsible for their actions. So let’s lift that burden off their tender young shoulders, and simply tell them how things are going to be for them in exchange for the security and support they want.
Pregnant women have three choices: abortion, deliver and give up for adoption, or deliver and keep the baby. In each case, I would tell them precisely what my dictatorship was prepared to do if they sought any assistance.
If they want an abortion, fine. We’ll pay for it. But at the same time, they will also be sterilized. Once they turn 21, they can have it reversed, but until they reach that age, they will NOT be getting pregnant again.
If they want to give the baby up for adoption, that’s fine, too. We’ll pick up the tab for their prenatal care and delivery expenses. But once the baby’s born, it’s taken away and given to a truly deserving set of parents who are prepared to love AND PROVIDE FOR the baby. The mother will — as above — be sterilized (tubal ligation or implant) and not be allowed to be fertile again until she turns 21.
If they want to keep the baby, that’s fine, too. But they will do so without a single penny of public support. We, the taxpayers, were not consulted prior to their very conscious, deliberate, and willful decisions to get pregnant, and my dictatorship hates faits accompli. If it was an “accident,” then we might see our way to helping them out. But this was no “oops,” this was planned. And if part of their planning was counting on us to pick up the tab for them, then they should have told us beforehand.
I’m fairly certain that a healthy factor in these girls’ decisions was that they could count on the government to pick up a good chunk of the tab for them. Free health care, child care at the school, welfare, and the like — they won’t ever see most of the expenses behind their decision.
It’s simple economics. The government has put itself in the business of paying people to have children they can’t support on their own. And it’s a fundamental principle of economics that whatever you subsidize, you get more of.
Well, this is simply the most flagrant example I’ve ever seen of that principle in action. We are literally getting precisely what we’ve been paying for.
Well, in my dictatorship, we have a few rules. And one of the biggies is that “if you take the King’s gold, you play the King’s tune.” All government money comes with strings, but in my dictatorship you’re never allowed to forget for an instant they are there. I make damned sure that you know precisely what you’re getting, and what you’re giving up in return.
If you choose to make the government financially responsible for the support of your children, that’s just fine. But you forfeit much of your rights in the process.
No, that’s not quite right. You don’t forfeit them. You’ve sold them. Because if we’re paying for it, then we’re going to protect our investment and make damned sure we don’t cost us a single penny more than absolutely necessary.
No, this would not be my policy across the board. But in the case of the Gloucester Gimme Girls, their offenses are so egregious that they NEED the most draconian response. Unless they’re ready, willing, and prepared to go completely independent of the government — relying solely on themselves, their family, and (if they can be identified) the sperm donors who they got to knock them up) for support for themselves and their children, then they need to “pay” somehow for all the money they’re looking to collect from you and me.
To quote another science fiction author, the late, great Robert Heinlein, “TANSTAAFL.” “There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.” Here’s the check, girls. You wanna pay it, or work it off washing dishes?
Because I’m not picking it up this time.
Part 87 in a series of “Why Jay Tea Should Never Be Entrusted With Any Real Power”
