Build a castle in the sand, pay a fine out the butt

After an Isle of Palms (near Charleston, SC) patrol officer twisted his ankle on the beach one night, the morons on City Council set to work to regulate the villainous children who dig sand on the beach, leaving holes. Jessica Johnson reports for The Post and Courier:

Building in the sand is free, but beach lovers who leave their castles behind could soon pay the price.

Under a new proposal, beachcombers could get a $128 to $500 ticket for not flattening sand castles and not filling in holes when they’re through. City leaders intend to discuss the proposal more in the next month.

* * * * *

Police and Mayor Mike Sottile said enforcement would be nearly impossible. They would have to watch the creation from start to finish and then catch its sculptors as they walk away.

Isle of Palms City Councilman Ryan Buckhannon, who sits on the public safety committee that formulated the law’s first draft, said the provision is part of a bigger proposal aimed at stopping droves of tourists from leaving items and large holes behind.

“It’s a disposable world now,” he said.

Tourists often abandon their tents, coolers and surfboards for others to enjoy. The proposed law would require people to pick up after themselves and knock over sand castles before leaving the area.

Read the entire story at the link above. Naturally, the enforcement would be just as difficult for “tents, coolers and surfboards” as it would for sand castles and holes. As one commenter noted, what about those pesky sea turtles? They sneak onto the beach, dig holes, and leave their soft eggs covered up like a trap for the unwary beach patrols – should we fine the turtles, too?

OR, as another noted, maybe the night beach patrol officers could carry flashlights so they don’t walk into holes – you know, sort of like a normal human being who must navigate uneven terrain in the dark?

Isle of Palms beachfront homeowners are notorious for fighting against public access, while simultaneously demanding millions in public funding for “beach renourishment” to replenish the sand which the anti-environment Atlantic Ocean takes away without regard to local ordinance. Next time they show up at the state legislature with their hands out, I hope they are told to “go pound sand.”

Thanks to readers Kris Franzen of South Carolina and Doug Ridley of New York, who both tipped me to this story.

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