Loving your wife — and not being ashamed — makes you whipped.

According to GQ, anyways.

They just released a list of the 25 Most Whipped Husbands. Some of them, like Guy Ritchie, are kind of understandable (especially when the picture accompanying has Madonna and Ritchie leaving a “store” with Madonna carrying a strap-on). But some of them made my blood boil.

A few examples:

  • Doug Christie

    A running joke among NBA fans holds that giving a friend a jersey emblazoned with the Sacramento Kings’ number 13 is a none too subtle indication that your buddy is terminally whipped. The swingman’s wife, Jackie, followed him on the road, where in a typical game she was treated to as many as fifty hand signals of love and affirmation. In 2002 his public subjugation was celebrated in the sports pages of The New York Times, where Christie boasted: “Every conversation I’ve ever had with a woman since we’ve been married, besides my wife, she knows about.”

  • Kurt Warner

    The ex-Marine and born-again Christian–that’s Mrs. Warner, by the way–has raised the ire of NFL fans with her unwelcome pronouncements on her husband’s career, her aggressive evangelism, and her mushy postgame kisses. Fans have compared Brenda to Yoko Ono and Gozer from Ghostbusters, but her MVP remains loyal to a fault. When the journeyman QB learned he’d be playing in the Pro Bowl, he sent her a bunch of roses with a note reading “This is a great day for me, but it would mean nothing without you there to share it.” Sheds some light on that groin pull in 2005, doesn’t it?

  • Keith Urban

    First he supposedly signed a prenup agreement that pays him $600,000 for each year he’s together with his Oscar-winning bride, Nicole Kidman–and not a dime should he fall off the wagon, which he’s inclined to do. He entered rehab four months after their 2006 wedding. Maybe that’s why he told an interviewer, “I don’t want to be away from my wife for more than two weeks–I prefer it to be even less.”

  • Seal

    He started dating wife Heidi Klum while she was pregnant with another man’s baby, he says he’s crazy about his in-laws, and his pals claim he even digs changing dirty diapers. Either he’s whipped or the Light FM fixture has stumbled into the perfect marriage. As Heidi told Oprah last October, she fell in love with Seal the minute she saw him: “I met him in a hotel lobby in New York, and he just came from the gym, and I was like, wow… I pretty much saw everything. The whole package.”

  • Mark Consuelos

    When asked if he’d ever dated older women before hooking up with wife Kelly Ripa, the actor and Age of Love host replied, “I don’t remember life before Kelly.” Adorable.

  • Yes, these are some true examples of horrible whippage — telling your wife about conversations he has with other women! Changing diapers! Public declarations of love! Putting your wife above your accomplishments! Not wanting to be without your wife!

    I’ve written about how I don’t like the new breed of whipped men. But this is just ridiculous.

    Guys, don’t fall for this GQ bullshit. A real man isn’t ashamed of loving his wife, and he isn’t ashamed to say so, or to put her first. A real man isn’t ashamed of changing diapers. Our men may need to toughen it up, but that does not include the examples here. Don’t fall for it.

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