"…And They'll Be Happy Little Beaners"

One of the arguments I’ve heard repeatedly against illegal aliens is that they are an economic burden, that they consume far more in services and resources than they contribute. The proponents often cite the financial state of many hospitals along the southern border, where many have had to shut down their emergency rooms due to unpaid bills often attributed to illegal aliens. Schools have also cried poverty, citing the expenses involved in educating the children of illegal aliens.

Well, that cry has been taken up by a fresh group, as Kim noted yesterday — some Mexican government officials.

It seems that the elected officials in the Mexican state of Sonora have spent years and years depending on its citizens going to the United States illegally and sending money home, mainly in neighboring Arizona. Now that Arizona has started cracking down on those who employ illegal aliens, the Mexicans are giving up and coming home — and their home state doesn’t want them.

I tell ya, sometimes these things just write themselves. Imagine if an American were to say things like this:

“Mexico is not prepared for this, for the tremendous problems” it will face as more and more Mexicans working in Arizona and sending money to their families return to hometowns in Sonora without jobs, she said.

The “she” is Mexican Rep. Leticia Amparano Gamez, who came to the United States to voice her complaint.

I note that the story doesn’t bother to ask if the lawmakers came across the border legally. It would be a very valid question — did they jump the border, as so many of their constituents have done for decades, or did they get visas, putting the lie to the argument that it’s too darned hard to come to the United States?

For far too long, Mexico has treated the United States as a dumping ground for its underclass. Can’t make it in Mexico? Don’t complain to the government, just get the hell out. They have discovered an economic miracle — they’ve changed their poorest citizens from a net liability to a net asset. They simply encourage them to go to the US, work under the table, and send money home to their families. The US ends up picking up most of the costs for supporting the illegal workers (financial, social, and moral), and the Mexican government gets the income from them sending their earnings home to their family.

It’s been a great safety valve, keeping the masses from growing too discontent as to demand real government reform. Don’t elect reformers, don’t call for government action, don’t overthrow the government — just hop across the border, find a job, and send money home.

And so many employers in the US are willing to turn a blind eye to the illegality and immorality of the situation and take advantage of workers who are willing to work cheap and have already proven that they’re not inclined to turn to government officials for help.

I think I have a solution that might please the Sonoran officials. They don’t want their people to come home, they want them to stay working in the US and sending money home. And we don’t want them to keep working illegally.

So here’s my modest proposal: we ask the Sonoran officials to provide us with names and locations of their citizens working here illegally. In exchange, we promise that we will not deport them , but rather make certain they stay here and work and keep sending money home. Once the Sonorans have been identified, we will find them new jobs and relocate them. The employers will be responsible for housing them as well.

To distinguish these Mexicans from other illegal aliens, they will be provided with special identification cards that indicate that they are Sonoran Legal Alien Volunteer Expatriates. They will remain at their employers, with the employer making sure the lion’s share of their earnings are sent home.

To make sure that they do not become a burden on the US, they will not be allowed to work for just anyone. Only specially qualified businesses, registered and regulated by the Maximizing Assistance to the Sonoran State Administration, will be authorized to employ these Sonoran workers. Should they wish to leave one employer, they can only apply to another certified employer — and will not be allowed to quit until they have a new job line up.

I think this could really work. As long as these SLAVEs are working for a MASSA, everyone can be happy and content. The SLAVEs are assured regular work and regular pay. The MASSAs are assured a steady supply of reliable workers. The US government gets a bunch of illegal aliens into a legal status, paying taxes. Everybody wins.

The only problem would be if some Mexican troublemaker starts riling up the workers into demanding better treatment and some unnecessary independence. This “Juan Marron” could be a real troublemaker. We’d best watch carefully for his kind.

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