Mr. Sedaei: You Aren’t Very Bright

Ah, the Huffington Post: What would we do without it? Well, we’d have to go elsewhere to receive a daily dose of far-Left fatuity. And, as strollers around Al Gore’s Internet can inform you, it isn’t particularly easy to find “websites” composed by radical nutters. In fact, it’s almost as difficult as it is to hunt down pornography on the Web. (Where do they hide that stuff?)

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” happened upon a delicious example of HuffPo idiocy the other day, which ably demonstrates the quality of fluff Arianna’s orgy of self-celebration publishes. The HuffyPo, as it turns out, does not merely offer trenchant views on current affairs from various D-List celebrities.

Nope: In addition to publicizing the deep ruminations on foreign policy of John Stamos, it also boasts contributions from regular folks like you and us. If, of course, you and we were complete dolts.

Take, for example, a charming piece by a young Iranian émigré called Sam Sadaei. Before you even look at its first sentence, its title gives it away as a piece of arrant nonsense: “Mr. Olmert: Tear Down This Wall.”

Oh, gee: A Ronald Reagan-Cold War reference, eh? Didn’t anyone inform Mr. Sedaei that the proper way for anti-Israel fanatics to miscast the Jewish state is through an inapt comparison to South African Apartheid, not Communist East Germany? Apparently Mr. Sedaei didn’t get that Saudi-funded memo.

But enough of this quibbling. We don’t want to stop you from delighting in the almost preternatural idiocy of Mr. Sedaei’s column. Here, for your perusal, is the piece’s opening:

Prime Minister Ehud Olmert,

As someone who was born and lived under the current Iranian regime for seventeen years, I sometimes wonder if my readers know why I have been speaking about Israel so much when the American media almost never mentions [sic] Israel and presidential debate moderators find it more relevant to ask about life beyond earth, UFOs and baseball than how Israeli policies have been impacting U.S. interests for the past six decades.

We know what you are thinking, dear reader: Wow. What impressive ridiculousness!
We mean, come on: “the American media almost never mentions [sic] Israel”? Mr. Sedaei claims to have come to the United States from Iran; we, however, have the sneaking suspicion that he’s spent his entire life on Mars. Or perhaps Pluto.

After all, he never appears to have read an American newspaper, watched American news programs, or participated in American political discourse. If he had, he might have noted that America–like much of the rest of the world–is positively infatuated by Israel. Does Mr. Sedaei believe that the American media are too busy reporting on the Tamil Tigers to trouble themselves with the intricacies of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict?

Sadly–nay, miraculously–Mr. Sedaei’s piece manages to degenerate from this low point. Its author waxes indignant over the fact that Israel is a Jewish state, without troubling himself to mention that Iran–and the other explicitly Muslim countries in the region–aren’t exactly beacons of secularity.

And then Mr. Sedaei manages to offer the apologists’ line on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, whom he casts as philo-Semitic (!). Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, a friend of the Jews! Oh, Ahmadinejad didn’t say he wanted Israel “wiped off the map,” claims Mr. Sedaei. This despite the fact that the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting used this very translation in an English version of an October 26, 2005 Ahmadinejad speech.

Further, Mr. Sedaei personally demonstrates his own philo-Semitism by referring to Norman Podhoretz as “a Jewish neo-con.” Why Mr. Podhoretz’s religious background is crucial to the Jew-loving Mr. Sedaei we personally couldn’t determine.

(Note: The crack young staff normally “weblog” over at “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” where they are currently being trounced in the “Funniest Blog” category of the 2007 Weblog Awards.)

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