Wage Slave Revolt

I don’t talk about The Day Job much. I try to keep it separate from my blogging, but every now and then something happens that forces me to cross the line a little.

Several years ago, The Company (which I will not name, but is a very big and very well-known company) thought that all of us wage slaves deserved a little something for the Christmas holiday season. So they sent to each and every one of us (I think there were over 10,000 employees at the time) a little present. So we all got in the mail a big envelope with the company’s name on it and “OPEN IMMEDIATELY” in big red letters.

Inside was an Advent calendar. But this wasn’t your standard one, but a SPECIAL one. Behind each and every door was another product or service we could promote — not just to customers, but our friends and family as well.

My response is still fairly legendary within The Company. I sent off a signed fax to Marketing Services, thoroughly roasting them for it. I included my own list of 25 things they could have done instead; the highlights were “realize that a letter marked ‘OPEN IMMEDIATELY’ from one’s employer could be construed as a legal directive to work, and pay each employee the legally-mandated minimum 2 hours pay for reading the letter at home” and “fire the entire Marketing Services Department, replace them with random toddlers from nearby pre-schoolers, then watch costs plummet and productivity soar.”

Well, they’re at it again.

Like most big companies, The Company publishes a newsletter. It’s filled with the same old rah-rah crap you’d see anywhere. For years, they’ve circulated it electronically, and every location was supposed to print one out and leave it around for anyone interested to read.

Well, those days are past. Now they’re going to spend the money to print literally tens of thousands of copies and mail them to every single employee’s home.

I’m planning on telling some people just what I think of that idea, but I figured I’d use this platform to spread the word to any other companies considering such a thing:

DON’T.

I’m an oddball, but not entirely one. And I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I want to leave work AT work, and not have to deal with corporate rah-rah bullshit when I’m off the clock. If they insist on printing all these out, why not just mail a bunch of copies to every single workplace, and let the employees either read it there or take it home.

I’m weighing my options. Should I mark it “UNWANTED — RETURN TO SENDER?” Send off a scorching e-mail to the CEO and/or other concerned parties? Submit a request for pay for the time I spend reading the worthless thing?

And if anyone else has ever dealt with this, chime in below.

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