Our Future Hypocrite-in-Chief?

Gosh, you just have to love John Edwards’ campaign for president. Every time you think the former Senator from North Carolina can’t become more hypocritical, he somehow manages to up the ante. Frankly, unless you collect Mike Gravel quotes, Sen. Edwards’ candidacy is the most entertaining part of the 2008 presidential race.

We mean, come on. This is the fellow who has made concerns about poverty in the USA his signature campaign theme. And yet he inhabits a North Carolina mansion that seems to be a cross between Bill Gates’ palace and David Koresh’s compound. As if this weren’t bad enough, the tonsorially magnificent Sen. Edwards spends more on a haircut than most people devote to a year of clothing purchases. Does it get any more delicious than this?

Truth be told, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” aren’t as excited about Sen. Edwards’ missteps as are others. National politicians, after all, tend to be a wealthy bunch, and it’s foolish to say that they can’t be concerned about poverty. Sure, in an election clearly hinging on foreign policy, Sen. Edwards’ “Two Americas” shtick may not be such a great idea, but that’s another matter altogether.

Yesterday, however, we spied a story from the Associated (with terrorists) Press about Sen. Edwards’ latest political gaffe, and we couldn’t help but conclude he’s allowed his hypocrisy to reach epic proportions. Here’s the scoop:

WASHINGTON — Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. is fighting back against Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards and his criticism of the media empire, contending that the 2004 vice presidential nominee was paid $500,000 by one of its companies.
HarperCollins, which is owned by News Corp., paid Edwards a $500,000 advance for his book, “Home: The Blueprints of Our Lives” and was given another $300,000 to pay expenses.

Edwards responded angrily to the revelation, saying he gave the advance to charity and the figure was part of a confidential agreement that News Corp. had no authority to disclose.

The figures were reported yesterday by the New York Post, which is Murdoch owned, a day after Edwards challenged his rivals to return political donations from News Corp. executives. Edwards said the Fox News Channel, owned by News Corp., has a right-wing bias and he is concerned about Murdoch’s purchase this week of Dow Jones & Co., publisher of The Wall Street Journal.

Edwards’s criticism was chiefly aimed at Senator Hillary Clinton, a Democratic candidate for president, who has taken more than $20,000 in donations from Murdoch and other News Corp. executives.

We know what you’re thinking, dear reader: Boy, that’s bad. Sen. Edwards clearly aimed at whipping up a little press for himself and distancing Hillary Clinton from the far Left. Yet he wound up looking so awful he’ll need a very expensive haircut to remedy it.

After all, Sen. Edwards didn’t say: “Democratic presidential hopefuls should return all News Corp. funds that aren’t part of preexisting confidential agreements.” That would have been a less dramatic sentiment, but it has the benefit of not making the former Senator from North Carolina look like a buffoon.

Gee: Sen. Edwards’ shenanigans almost make you pine to vote for Hillary, don’t they?

(Note: The crack young staff normally “weblog” over at “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” where they, in textbook John Edwards fashion, are currently browbeating others for having “weblogs.”)

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