Attitude Problem

So, I walked into my favorite Starbucks, eyed that gorgeous, doe-eyed barista, and ordered my venti mocha.

Then I was surprised at first and increasingly vexed thereafter by the following quote displayed on my cup and attributed to erstwhile conservative icon George F. Will:

Because true conservatives are pessimists, they are happier than liberals, for three reasons. First, pessimists are rarely surprised. Second, when they are wrong they are delighted to be so. Third, pessimists do not put their faith in princes – in government. They understand that happiness is a function of fending for oneself. Happiness is an activity; it is inseparable from the pursuit of happiness.

Oh, brother.

Memo to George F. Will:

True conservatives are not pessimists. To the contrary a true conservative is by definition an optimist.

True conservatives endeavor to anticipate all contingencies, negative and positive, but they’re not surprised when things go exactly as planned. Obtaining the desired and planned-for outcome is the very standard a true conservative will set for him or herself and the standard to which they hold their peers.

True conservatives are pragmatic. They’re neither Pollyannas nor brooding malcontents. They’re realists. Not vacuous idealists.

Realism and pessimism, however, are *not* the same things.

True conservatives are not ‘delighted’ to be wrong. That’s patently idiotic.

Quite unlike their friends on the far left a true conservative is by definition a sentient, rational, logical adult. To be wrong is no cause for celebration, Chomsky.

Happiness is not an ‘activity.’ Activities are activities; happiness is an emotional state of mind.

To collapse the dichotomy between activities and emotions is to engage in precisely the sort of relativism of which leftists are guilty.

Furthermore, pessimism never spawned a single technological advancement. Pessimism doesn’t put food on anyone’s table. Pessimism won’t solve the country’s many problems. Pessimism won’t cure a single disease.

Pessimism is the hobglobin of mental suicide.

Pessimism . . . doesn’t . . . win . . . elections.

Thompson's Questionable Clientele
Third Branch