If Only Bush Weren’t President

If only the Evil Bush Cheney Halliburton administration had not stolen the election twice, all would be right with the world. No hurricanes or melting ice caps because President Gore/Kerry would have signed Kyoto and probably passed a carbon tax by now. There would be no one in a wheelchair because Vice President Edwards would have caused those in wheelchairs to get up and walk by now because the Gore/Kerry administration would be federally funding embryonic stem cell research. There would be no terrorism because the Democrat administration would not be torturing innocent people at Abu Ghraib and Gitmo so there would be no reason for anyone to hate us. There would be no ban on partial birth abortion and no mass murder at Virginia Tech, either. At least that is what Martin Lewis at the Huffington Post says — just the VT shooting and abortion parts. I came up with the others on my own. (Hat tip to Tom Elia.)

A declaration of dependence
The Proper Definition of "Swiftboat" the Verb