Act like you got a pair

I love the English language. it never ceases to amaze me how it works, and what sorts of things one can do with it. For example, just try explaining to a non-native speaker of English how the terms “overlook,” “lookover,” “look over,” “see over” and “oversee” have totally different meanings and connotations.

Another fun word is “pair.” It’s a simple term, meaning two matching items. They don’t even have to be the same thing, just complementary.

Or it can be a singular item.

A pair of pants, a pair of underwear, a pair of scissors.

I once had a bit of fun with that last one.

I dated a woman who didn’t care for that term, so she would instruct her son to “go get her a scissor.” After the umpteenth time of hearing that, I decided to act.

I found a pair of scissors that separated. (I can’t believe that I paid over $6.00 for this cheap gag.) I smuggled them into her house, showed them to her son, and stashed them in her kitchen.

Shortly thereafter, she told him to “go get her a scissor.” And the look on her face when he returned with exactly half a pair of scissors made that six bucks so, so worthwhile…

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Marcotte Still Doesn't Get It