Massachusetts Justice and other oxymorons

I once won a gold star in a training class at work. The instructor was citing various oxymorons, and he hit the regulars — “pretty ugly,” “jumbo shrimp,” and the like. I tossed out “Microsoft Works.”

But I have a new one: Massachusetts Justice.

This was driven home to me by two stories in the Boston Herald this morning.

A little over a year ago, I wrote about two dipshits who were drag-racing on a connector road in Lowell, Massachusetts. One of them lost control and flipped his car across the median into oncoming traffic, landing on a car being driven by a pregnant woman. She died, and doctors couldn’t save the baby.

Well, the idiot survived the crash, and he and his rival racer entered into a plea-bargain yesterday. For killing the mother and child, they each will get five years in prison.

Meanwhile, a 59-year-old (now) former selectman for the town of Southboro got himself in a little trouble. He met a 13-year-old girl online and started chatting her up. He even got to the point of offering to relieve the young lady of the troublesome burden of her virginity.

To no one’s surprise but William Christensen, the “girl” turned out to be a cop. He was arrested after sending her all sorts of salacious messages, along with a couple of photos of his… um… “assets.”

Well, he got a plea bargain, too. Five years in prison. But luckily for him, they suspended it and just gave him probation. He also has to stay off the internet and away from children.

I hope the court’s optimism is rewarded in these cases. But my cynic soon returns and I wonder if I ought to remember the names “Carlos Rodrigues,” “Angel Nieves,” and “William Christensen” and Google them in five years or so. I’d think it’d be a fairly safe bet that they’ll be in the news again by then — and not in a good way.

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