In case you missed the latest set of Democratic talking points…

…here is the latest e-mail from Tom McMahon, Executive Director of the Democratic National Committee (properly annotated, of course):

Dear Fellow Democrat,

People ask me how the latest Republican scandal affects our strategy for November.

You have a STRATEGY? I thought it boiled down to repeating “all Republicans are evil, mean doodyheads!”

Let’s make one thing clear — Republican Congressman Mark Foley’s inappropriate contacts with minors were the worst kind of abuse of power. Despite the Republicans’ desperate damage control efforts, what America’s parents see is a man who took advantage of children, and a Republican leadership that refused to act aggressively to fix the problem.

Um… Foley is still scum, but 1) he’s gone, and B) it turns out the object of his predations was NOT a minor. But never mind that, we have a SCANDAL to monger!

And we’re learning more every day about Republican Leaders’ failure to live up to the responsibilities of their own power, as revelations of a cover-up reach all the way up to Speaker Dennis Hastert.

It’ll reach that high, no matter how hard we have to push it.

But this episode does not change our strategy one bit.

It just shows even more how the Republicans are evil, mean doodyheads.

We’re going to get voters to the polls in all 50 states, and they’re going to vote Democrat up and down the ballot. We’re building the broadest get-out-the-vote operation our party has seen in a generation, transforming our 50-state strategy into an unprecedented 50-State Turnout machine.

We started with the highly successful Democratic Turnout Machine that’s worked such wonders in Chicago, and used it as a model to scale up to a national level. So start canvassing the graveyards, people — the Machine needs fodder!

It’s only going to work if you and everyone you know get involved. We’re kicking off the 50-State Turnout this Saturday — will you volunteer at a kick-off event near you?

And since it’ll ONLY work if “you and everyone you know get involved.” That way, when it fails, we can blame YOU, and not ourselves.

The culture of corruption and cover-up has been the Republicans’ problem for years. Two Republican Congressman have pleaded guilty to corruption, and investigations are ongoing into the scandal surrounding Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

Who, of course, NEVER did a damned thing for Democrats. Harry Reid promises.

That same culture reaches into the states, where Republican governors in places like Ohio and Kentucky have been indicted — the Republican governor of Ohio even pleaded no contest to violating ethics laws.

Special thanks to Congressman William Jefferson for keeping track of all those scandals.

Whether the scandal is on Capitol Hill or in the state capitol, Americans everywhere know that it’s time for new leadership.

And as soon as we find some, we’ll get back to you. Probably.

That’s why we’re building a 50-State Turnout operation — people everywhere want change, and people everywhere will have the opportunity to affect races up and down the ballot in their area.

Because, of course, blind partisanship is BAD when it protects people like Mark Foley, but GOOD when it keeps actual kiddie-diddlers like Gerry Studds in office and even heading up important committees right up until he retires.

Sign up to volunteer for a 50-State Turnout kick-off event now so that we can be sure we have enough materials for you:

Give us your name now, we’ll send you crap. Then, later, we’ll start hitting you up for money. It’s one of the few things that we and the Republicans have in common — once you’re on our list, you’re forever on our list.

Whether it’s failing to ask the hard questions about sending our troops to war or failing to protect us here at home, America cannot afford to trust a Republican leadership whose response to every crisis the nation faces is to sweep it under the rug.

Senator Kennedy, Representative Kennedy, and Senator Byrd need their brooms back. And before that rug is too lumpy.

The Republican culture of corruption and cover-up has reigned for too long.

And it would have ended sooner, but for some reason we can’t get around the “you can’t beat somebody with nobody” problem — see Kerry, John.

Democrats are ready to lead, and I hope you’ll be a part of it.

Show some leadership, some principle, some ideas, some slightest shred of a CLUE, and I’ll consider it. But the way you’ve treated Democrats I could trust and respect — Zell Miller and Joe Lieberman, just to name two — doesn’t give me much hope.

Thank you,

You’re welcome,

Tom McMahon
Executive Director
Democratic National Committee

Jay Tea
Section Editor

Paid for and authorized by the Democratic National Committee,
This communication is not authorized by any candidate or candidate’s committee.

Paid for and authorized by absolutely no one.
This communication is solely the opinion of Jay Tea.

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For the record: I did NOT sign up for their mailing list, and I think it speaks volumes that they don’t bother to verify subscriptions before they start deluging people with their crap. Howard Dean, John Kerry and Hillary Clinton also think I’m a supporter of theirs, too — but for some reason only Tom’s pieces lend themselves to such easy Fisking.

Thank You, Mike Gallagher
Secretary Rice Makes Surprise Visit to Iraq


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