Another way to tell New Hampshire apart from Florida

I once visited Florida, and I wasn’t impressed.

The first thing I noticed was the giant cockroach in the airport bathroom. Some folks insisted it was a “palmetto bug,” but I didn’t see the distinction.

A while later, I noticed that they had some of the strangest squirrels down there. They were green and hairless. Some folks tried to tell me they were lizards, but I’ve seen lizards before. These creatures were acting not like lizards, but squirrels — the spastic bursts of speed, the racing up and down and around trees, all the things us New Hampshirites associate with squirrels.

Just naked and green.

But I’ve found one more way New Hampshire is different from Florida.

When an 81-year-old driver runs down an 7-year-old kid on a scooter and drags him for half a block before realizing she’s got something stuck under her car, we yank her license.

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