Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners

Since Kevin got bogged down on announcing winners for the last few Caption Contests, I figured I’d help out and do the judging on one of them. Considering that I had supplied him with the picture (stolen from here), it seemed only fitting.

My only regret is that I didn’t get around to tossing in my own entry: “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son — but it’s worked well for me so far.”

Anyway, there were — as usual — a ton of great entries, revolving around a few common themes. As is my wont, I’ll announce the first, second, and third prize winners here, then give bonus awards below the fold.

First place: Rodney Dill, “Let’s see, beer, chips, swimwear, we’re set for the beach, where’s the car?” “They’re dredging it up again.”

Second place:
billburz, “With the passage in Congress of the “Keep all Kennedy’s Off the Road” Bill, 2006, Ted Kennedy finds himself walking. John Kerry voted for it and then voted for it. A first in Congress.”

And third, guido, “Fatman and Little Boy!”

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Best Movie Reference was a tough call. Rodney Dill’s “Dude, Where’s my car?” and Jason’s “Drunk and Drunker” were both excellent, but Jeff Blogworthy’s invocation of The Great One blew them both away with “”Boy, there is no way, just no way you came from my loins. When we get home, I’m going to punch yo mama right in the mouth.”

The Oedipus Rex Memorial For Eye-Gouging Visual Image was claimed by Giacomo, who inflicted us all with “”Okay, Son, let’s grab some lunch and I’ll show you how to make a waitress sandwich.” Giacomo also included this helpful link.

Best Impression Of An Outraged Moonbat goes to JoyReid, who plumbed those terrible depths and delighted us all with “It never ceases to amaze me how the right pitches a bitch when people dis their little love-sponge, President Bush, but feel no compunction about savaging, belittling and riding Ted Kennedy, who you can’t argue hasn’t lived a life unburdened by mistakes, almost unbelievable loss and tragedy, and clear despair. Both men have drinking problems, both men have had difficult family relationships, but to you guys, Bush is a saint, and Kennedy can never be forgiven for his sins.

Interesting right wing positioning.”

Finally, there was much competition for the Laurence Simon Sick And Twisted Bastard Award, back from its long hiatus. Usful Ijit came close with “Young Patrick Kennedy joins his father Ted in the eternal and so far futile search for the real killers of Mary Jo Kopechne,” and DOUG BOOK almost took it with “Gee dad, do ya think the girls’ll be OK till we get back?” “Look, I told you, don’t worry. Two quick sets and the Chivas and nachos we brought. Besides, they’ve got an air pocket almost the size of the back seat.” In the end, though, Rodney Dill (him again?) clinched it with “So were like bubbles coming out of her nose?”

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  1. 914 June 25, 2006
  2. Rodney Dill June 26, 2006
  3. JAT June 26, 2006