As the release date of the filmed version of The Da Vinci Code draws nearer, a lot of Catholic officials are getting more and more disturbed. In fact, one Cardinal is urging that Catholics around the world not only boycott the film, but take legal action against the film’s creators, distributors, and theatres.
Once again, the Catholic Church is showing just how out of date and behind the times it is. If they REALLY wanted to garner the respect of the world and silence its detractors, here are some of the things they should have done first:
1) Issue a death sentence against Dan Brown, the book’s author.
2) Hold massive riots against the book and movie.
3) Issue death threats against Tom Hanks and everyone else involved in the film.
4) Kill several people, such as book store employees who sold the novel, by beheading or some other gruesome manner.
5) Burn down book stores that stock the book.
Once they have created a suitable climate of fear around their wrath, THEN you have the authority to issue demands like those in these lawsuits. But those Catholics are just too dumb or too stubborn to recognize that Islam has proven the one true, sure-fire method for a religion to gain enough respect (or fear) to get its way around the world.
I suppose I should be glad the Catholics are as clueless as they are. After all, Dan Brown is a fellow New Hampshirite, and as a co-citizen of his, I could easily be lynched in his place.
(Update: for a far less sarcastic take on the same points, but with the same conclusion, read this.)