Can I call them or what?

Yesterday, in discussing Congressman Patrick “Patches” Kennedy’s sojourn into rehab, I predicted that he’d get a hero’s welcome on his return.

It seems the Boston Globe couldn’t even wait for that. This morning, they bestowed a big, wet kiss on him, shining a spotlight on all the wonderful things he’s done in his life.

Sorely lacking from the story is any context, any embarassing stories, anything that might prove even slightly negative.

Such as:

  • A session in rehab for cocaine addiction when he was in his teens.
  • The fact that he has been a professsional legislator since he was 21, serving first in the Rhode Island House before going to Washington in 1996.
  • His proud declaration at a Democratic gathering that he’s “never worked a day in his fucking life.”
  • His shoving of an airport security screener who tried to stop him from boarding a plane with a too-large carryon.

They also gloss over a 2000 incident on the high seas. According to the Globe,

Meanwhile, the congressman suffered another mishap. The same year, Kennedy allegedly caused $28,000 in damage to a charter yacht off the coast of Connecticut, and the Coast Guard was summoned to collect a female companion who was on the boat and who had reportedly argued with Kennedy. His office at the time said the episode was overblown.

They don’t mention that the owners of the yacht had to go recover it after Kennedy abandoned it adrift at sea, a potential hazard to navigation.

In some ways, Patrick is an improvement over his father, Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Chivas). He hasn’t killed anyone yet, and when he abandoned his vehicle at sea, it was empty and above the water.

Seriously, the guy needs help, and help fast. But what he doesn’t need is more covering up, more sweeping his sins under the carpet, more big wet sloppy kisses from the press, more pats on the head and praise for not making doody in his pants. He needs to be treated as an adult, with all the responsibilities that go with that.

Otherwise, he’ll likely join the ranks of his kinfolk in finding an early grave:

Joseph P. Kennedy Jr. — killed in exploding plane over English Channel in 1944, age 25.

Kathleen “Kick” Kennedy Cavendish — killed in plane crash in France in 1948, age 28.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy — assassinated in Dallas in 1963, age 46.

Robert Francis Kennedy — assassinated in Los Angeles in 1968, age 43.

David A. Kennedy — died from drug overdose in Florida in 1984, age 28.

Michael Kennedy — killed in skiing accident in Colorado in 1997, age 39.

John F. Kennedy Jr. — killed in plane crash off Massachusetts in 1999, age 38.

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  1. just me May 7, 2006
  2. steve sturm May 7, 2006
  3. Matt May 7, 2006
  4. Macker May 7, 2006
  5. Steve Crickmore May 7, 2006
  6. just me May 7, 2006
  7. epador May 7, 2006
  8. Arthur Kimes May 7, 2006
  9. wave_man May 7, 2006