Gosh, it’s a great day for dumb criminal stories. First, we have the title piece — cops in Brighton, Massachusetts busted two people with drugs in their car, then got permission to search the apartment they came from. They found a loaded gun, cash, some pot, and some “white powder” that is most likely another drug.
Oh, and a pit bull. A pit bull running around with a bag in its mouth. When cops cornered Prada and tried to get the big bag away from him, it tore — dumping out over 100 more bags of pot.
Meanwhile, a Boston guy with a bigger appetite than brains got his hands on a bunch of stolen credit cards. He promptly used them to stuff his guts — he called up some local restaurants to have food delivered. He tagged one place for several hundred dollars until the place got the word that the card was stolen. They were just about to file a report with the police when Adam Nezbeth pushed his luck one time too many. They called the cops, who sent a plainclothes officer off with the pizza. The cop asked for the actual card, which naturally he didn’t have. And when they arrested him, they found a list of other stolen credit card numbers in his wallet.
Finally, we have a crook who wasn’t so much “dumb” as “disgusting.” Identity theft is becoming a bigger and bigger problem, and the government has taken some pretty good steps towards helping people protect themselves. One dirtbag figured he could get around those by stealing the ID of someone who wasn’t able to protect himself — he started using the Social Security number of an infant boy. And it looks like Joseph Oppong started using the boy’s identity when the boy was barely six months old, and got away with it for about a year until the mother tried to open him a bank account — and was told he already had several that had been closed for fraud. The only consolation I can see here is that the boy in question is so young that simply getting him a new number won’t cause too many complications — he has no work or tax history to worry about.