Blessed if You Do, Blessed if You Don't

[Author’s Note: I’ve been had. Me (of all people) failed to get the satire in the piece I linked. Really, it does not matter to the point. The reason that it is good satire is that it has a ring of truth. (It’s more parady than satire.) I’m sure a quick trip thru google news would find me somebody claming that this snow storm was proof of global warming. That was sorta the original author’s point. – And mine.]

I’ve never been overtly religious. And there is a reason I have near zero respect for -some- religious people. I grew up next to a family of fundamentalist Christians. They were good people, they’d give you the shirt of their back. But they just had an odd way at looking at things.

No matter what happened -good, bad or indifferent- it was a sign of God’s existence and involvement in their life. There was always something funny about their beliefs but I ever could put my finger on it until the neighbor kid said something that made it gel in my head. He wanted to go to a local mall with his friends but he couldn’t because he didn’t have any money. Explaining the situation he said:

“I had 5 dollars but I lost it in the grocery store parking lot. I guess that just shows God wanted somebody else that needed the money more to find it. Oh well, I’ll just have to pray to God and tell him I need the money too. Maybe I’ll find 5 dollars.”

Then it hit me. When you’ve defined everything as a sign from God, you’re sure to get lots of them. If finding 5 bucks in the street is a sign from God and losing five bucks is also a sign from God, you have yourself a good self-fulfilling belief system there.

And that, of course, is what make a religion a religion. Faith. Now I have nothing against people of faith. As long as they don’t pretend to be scientists.

The problem is that all too often people who claim to be scientists have the same belief system as my neighbors. One area we see this repeatedly is in the environmental sciences. The global warming crowd gave me a perfect example this morning in comments about record snowfalls on the first day of spring.

Spring Snowstorm Blamed on Global Warming

(Washington, D.C.) The first day of spring arrived today with widespread cold and snow, an event that some say is just one more sign of global warming.

“This is exactly in line with what we have been predicting for years,” explained James Fearmonger, chief climate scientist at the newly formed Global Warming Prediction Center. “With global warming we have predicted that some areas will see more precipitation, some less precipitation, some will experience warmer weather, some colder. So this event can be fully explained by global warming”.

Another sign from God.

To the global warming theorists, all anecdotal evidence supports global warming. If it is hot during the summer, that’s global warming. Cold during the winter is global warming too. Blizzards during winter? Blame global warming. Record snowfalls on the first day of spring… (say it with me) Global warming.

It must be nice to have your beliefs so easily confirmed.

Even the name of their organization shows the nature of their belief system; “at the newly formed Global Warming Prediction Center. Now, when the name of your organization spells out what you are going to predict, just call yourself a religion and get it over with.

I don’t know about you but when I hear something from the “Global Warming Prediction Center” I expect them to predict global warming. To do otherwise would be against their religion.

Dude, where's my bail?
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