I enjoy bumper stickers. Perusing what George Carlin called his “handy mobile library” keeps my mind alert on the road, and gives me insights into other people’s personalities by what they choose to express themselves. But one car had four stickers in its rear window that, individually, were perfectly normal. But the combined effect nearly sent me into the ditch with laughter.
In the upper left: UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS
In the upper right: SEMPER FI
In the bottom left: THE FEW THE PROUD THE MARINES
In the bottom right: MARY KAY
I had this vision of R. Lee Ermey addressing a bunch of Marines:
“ALL RIGHT MAGGOTS, LISTEN UP! THIS HERE IS THE LATEST ISSUE FROM THE CORPS. THE MARK-25 CAMOUFLAGE PAINT, WHEN PROPERLY APPLIED, NOT ONLY WILL REDUCE YOUR VISIBILITY IN DARKNESS AND HELP REDUCE YOUR INFRARED SIGNATURE, BUT IT ALSO MOISTURIZES AND EXFOLIATES!”
I told this story to several Mary Kay representatives whom I knew, and one of them clued me in. “Oh, I know who that was! Her son is in the Marine Corps, and she’s using his car while he’s overseas!”
A perfectly reasonable explanation, but still a damned funny circumstance.