Punishing the victims

Robert Eckert of Yarmouth, Massachusetts is a marked man.

He’s got a lengthy history of encounters with the police, numerous arrests and cour appearances. He can’t drive down the road without wondering if he’s going to get pulled over and taken in again. He’s been fingerprinted so many times his fingertips are almost permanently stained.

His offense? 12 years ago, he lived next door to a dirtbag named James Jones. And Mr. Jones, after one of his numerous arrests, gave his name to police as “Robert Eckert.”

That led to Eckert’s name being listed as an alias for Jones. And every single time Jones gets in trouble with the law, a flag goes up and Eckert is hauled in again until he can exonerate himself.

I have a simple solution to identity theft cases like this, where a person is victimized for years by a scumbag. After a certain point, the victim can just kill the offender, and face only charges of attempted suicide.

In this case, Mr. Eckert could kill Mr. Jones. Since Mr. Jones repeatedly insists that he is Mr. Eckert, it could be considered a form of suicide. And since Mr. Eckert is verifiably alive, the attempt must have been unsuccessful. All that remains would be some other minor charges — littering, discharging a firearm, and the like.

Yeah, it’s a bit draconian. But it oughta do wonders in the fight against identity theft.

Underneath Wonkette's Robes
Buckling down on those who won't buckle up.


  1. bullwinkle January 2, 2006
  2. Old Soldier January 2, 2006
  3. McGehee January 2, 2006
  4. machs January 2, 2006
  5. JohnAnnArbor January 2, 2006
  6. Faith+1 January 2, 2006
  7. Jack January 2, 2006
  8. Denny Crane January 2, 2006
  9. John Irving January 2, 2006
  10. Random Yak January 3, 2006
  11. Dan S January 3, 2006