Levelling the playing field

In Maryland, a black man is running for governor as a Republican. Naturally, this has a lot of leftists in an uproar, who are taking such racially-sensitive tactics as calling him an “Uncle Tom,’ Photoshopping him into a blackfaced minstrel, and throwing Oreos at him at campaign rallies.

A lot of people are outraged over the way Mr. Steele is being treated, but I think there’s a better angle we can take from this. Throwing symbolic foods is now being endorsed as a legitimate tactic, so let’s sieze the moment and run with it.

So, let’s think about what kinds of foods would make appropriate projectiles against certain leftist groups.

* For a Greenpeace rally, throw watermelons at them. Or watermelon-flavored candies, if you don’t want to risk hurting them.

* At a gay rights rally, I recommend Twinkies or fresh fruit.

* When NOW or NARRAL gathers, bring melons. Preferably bitter ones.

* For moveon.org, who are still bitter about the Clinton impeachment, lemons.

* If Michael Moore shows up, pork products.

* If the unthinkable happens and Democratic Underground sponsors an event, mixed nuts are mandated.

The precedent has been established. The genie’s out of the bottle. It’s time to run with it.

Any suggestions of your own for other groups and corresponding foodstuffs? Toss ’em in the comments.

Everybody was Kung-Fu Talking...
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