Evil thoughts inspired by the Roberts hearings

As the day when the nigh-inevitable confirmation of John Roberts as our nation’s Chief Justice, more and more speculation is swirling around who President Bush will nominate to take the Associate Justice seat being vacated by Sandra Day O’Connor. I’ve been giving it some thought, myself.

I’m no lawyer. I’m not even an amateur legal scholar. I have no real knowledge of our current “bench bench” of sitting judges, their merits and their flaws. So I’m going to look away from the judiciary for a worthy successor to Justice O’Connor — and I think I have one.

To honor Justice O’Connor’s historic role as the first woman on the High Court, my nominee is also a woman. She’s also an accomplished lawyer, a graduate of Cornell and the University of Michigan Law School. She was a practicing lawyer for years, before becoming a legislative staffer — even working for the very Judiciary Committee that she would face as a nominee.

And imagine the ratings for the live television coverage when Ted Kennedy, Joe Biden, Charles Schumer, and the like have to face Supreme Court Associate Justice Nominee Ann Coulter?

Once she’s done savaging them, face-to-face, on national television, Bush could nominate Robert Bork, Pee Wee Herman, or even Richard Nixon’s decaying corpse in her stead and they would fly through without a second glance.

Because if they don’t approve this nominee, there’s always Laura Ingraham waiting in the wings…

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