"Are you gonna believe us, or your lying eyes?"

Yesterday should have been a good day for Adobe’s stock prices. Two major organizations were caught manipulating photos of public events, and in both cases everyone called it “Photoshopping.” That’s the kind of brand recognition money can’t buy.

First, the Council on American-Islam Relations (CAIR) released photos of a press conference they held. But apparently the fine folks who want to make sure that anyone who speaks unpleasantness about Islam (especially the truthful ones) gets condemned, threatened, and/or sued into silence decided, after the fact, that the people in the photo weren’t Muslim enough. Well, the women weren’t suitably oppressed and concealed. So they fired up Photoshop and (very ineptly) put hijabs on all of them, covering their hair to prevent their evil hair rays from corrupting and tainting any good, wholesome, devout Muslim men who might be driven into insane fits of rage and rape from that indecent, obscene display.

Next, we have the story of Reuters, who discovered photographic evidence that George W. Bush not only has a bladder, but was successfully potty-trained at some point. Unfortunately, the photo didn’t quite capture the evidence as clearly as they hoped, so once again Photoshop was called to duty and the citation of a Presidential Potty Break became seared — seared — into the national zeitgeist.

A while ago there was a huge dustup of the Supreme Court citing foreign laws in making its rulings, but I think we might have a valid use for it: about 30 years ago, one or another of the British tabloids got a picture of Prince Charles in the altogether. A judge ruled that the picture of the Crown Jewels could not be published, and summarized his ruling in one brilliant phrase: “‘The public interest’ is not synonymous with ‘interesting to the public.'”

So the next time you see a photo from CAIR, or Reuters, don’t take it with a grain of salt. Call Morton’s and have ’em deliver you a truckload.

Bad day for incompetent criminals
And Now The Harsh Reality Sets In


  1. -S- September 16, 2005
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