Some people just don't deserve second chances…

Or third… or fourth… or however many Neil Goodwin, Jr. has caught.

Goodwin has a lengthy criminal record. Nothing too severe — just some breaking and enterings and burglaries. He’s also violated his probation a couple times — one blown-off meeting, one flunked drug test. But the state of Massachusetts gave him one last break, and instead of sending him off to jail, they gave him some community service. He was ordered to help tend a cemetery.

But that’s a bit dull for our boy (he’s 19). He got tired of mowing and trimming and the like, so he thought he’d goof around a bit. He broke into a Civil War veteran’s tomb and took a head out of a casket and started clowning around with it. And no rocket scientist he, he managed to persuade another of his fellow erstwhile gardeners to take a few pictures, to preserve the good times for posterity.

You know where this is going. The photos ended up in the hands of the police, and Mr. Goodwin is back in hot water.

Naturally, both Boston papers covered the story. But while the Glob gave a rather dry recitation of the facts, not even mentioning the photos until the second paragraph, the Herald gave it top billing. And while the Glob gave the details of his background, the Herald gets the killer quote from the police lieutenant who charged Goodwin:

“You don’t expect criminals to be smart, but he was dumber than usual.”

Mr. Goodwin seems to enjoy breaking stones. Here’s hoping Massachusetts can find a rockpile in a prison somewhere to keep him entertained for the next decade or so.

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  1. B Moe August 25, 2005
  2. Jeff Blogworthy August 25, 2005
  3. OregonMuse August 25, 2005
  4. patd95 August 25, 2005
  5. chris Evers October 11, 2006