One of my neighbors has the habit blasting his Gangsta Rap out of his car. LOUDLY. It’s been an annoyance for a while, but only recently have I had the means to retaliate.
The Shaggin’ Wagon has the Premium Sound System, with an Alpine 6-CD changer under the 3rd seat. And I think that it’s time to give the brain-damaged punk wannabe a little payback.
So I’m looking for some suggestions for tunes. The Shaggin’ Wagon will accept home-made CDs, so I’m thinking of burning a collection of music that’ll bug the crap out of him and maybe — just maybe — get him to turn it down a little.
So far, I’ve been poking through my music collection and seeing what sorts of songs might do the trick. My main criteria are 1) it has to open loudly, and B) it has to be virtually guaranteed to chafe the ass of a gangsta rapper fan.
These are the ones I’m thinking of so far:
1) Meat Loaf — Life Is A Lemon (And I Want My Money Back)
2) Queen — Princes Of The Universe
3) Strauss — Also Sprach Zarathustra (2001 Theme)
4) Weird Al Yankovic — Amish Paradise
5) Weird Al Yankovic — It’s All About The Pentiums
6) Glen Larson — Battlestar Galactica Theme (Original Series)
7) Genesis — Mama
8) Genesis — Illegal Alien (just for the irony)
9) Mike & The Mechanics — Word Of Mouth
10) Louis Armstrong — What A Wonderful World
11) Genesis — Man Of Our Times
12) Bobby McFerrin — Don’t Worry, Be Happy
That’s my Dirty Dozen. If anyone else has any suggestions, I’m eager to hear them. The lout MUST be answered.
I don’t feel like reading through all the comments to see if anybody else has suggested mine.
1) Handel’s “Hallelujah Chorus” (trust me, they don’t like it)
2) Anything by Yoko Ono
3) Anything by Da Yoopers
4) Dashboard Confessional – Vindicated (nothing like Emo music to bring a smile to one’s face)
5) Anything by Bob Dylan
6) Rammstein – Links 2 3 4 (Just because it has jack boots stomping in it)
7) Anything by the Statler Brothers (bonus points if it’s Christian music)
8) System Of A Down – Chop Suey
9) Anything by Michael Bolton (bonus points for any Office Space references)
10) Willie Nelson – You Were Always On My Mind
11) Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive
12) Pretty much anything Country (use your own judgement)
13) Anything by Nightwish (great band, but not what a gangsta rapper wanna-be is going to go for)
14) Bagpipes. I’d recommend a traditional bagpipe rendition of Amazing Grace or Scotland The Brave. You could also kill two birds with one stone by playing Dropkick Murphy’s version of either (though I think they call the second one “Cadence To Arms”).
15) Anything by Me First & The Gimmie Gimmies
16) Theme song from The Exorcist (or Titanic).
Oh, and I must agree with Peter F. That “Pretty Fly For A White Guy” would be hilarious.
Anything that was ever done on the Laurence Welk Show! 🙂
Everybody Have Fun Tonight — Wang Chung
Orinoco Flow — Enya
Bad to the Bone — George Thorogood & The Destroyers
Jump in the Line – Harry Belafonte
“Raising Arizona” Closing Theme — Carter Burwell
Stravinsky/Kenny G. medley.
There’s a sub-genre of heavy metal called “melodic death metal.” Basically cross the music of Iron Maiden and early Metallica and add incomprehensible growls. Anything from In Flames or Dark Tranquility would work.
Blitzkrieg Bop, The Ramones
London Calling, The Clash
Holiday, GreenDay
Anything loud and shrill, which is most of it, by Bif Naked…she’s amazing.
If you’re going to do bagpipes, go with anything by Wicked Tinkers, I like “Bangers for Breakfast.”
Silver,
YOKO ONO???!!!!
We want to annoy the guy, not commit CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY!!!
Jay! Don’t you DARE touch the Yoko albums! They’ll have you before a tribunal and a noose in two shakes!
“Time after Time” by Cindi Lauper.
My friend recommended Agadoo. Don’t ask me what it is:
“Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, shake the tree,
Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, grind coffee,
To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees,
Come and dance every night, sing with the hula melody.
I met a hula mistress somewhere in Waikiki,
Well, she was selling pineapple, playing ukulele,
And when I went to the girl, “Come on and teach me to sway,”
She laughed and whispered to me, “Yes, come tonight to the bay.” “
http://www.mp3search.ru/album.html?id=12466&ref=4566&lang=en
Come to think of it, looks like a bunch of those other songs on that page might be good.
He also recommended:
* early 80’s music (does this include disco?)
* Missy Elliot’s “Work It” (I hold myself blameless for any damages that may result from playing this song)
* Any chance of the soundtrack for “All your base are belong to us”?
About chinese opera, I googled around for it a bit, there’s links to samples here:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000004669/002-4885174-7362425?v=glance
The first one is pretty much what I had in mind (once you get past the intro). Actually they’re all pretty much what i had in mind. Heh.
My sister is a huge fan of gangsta rap and she hates it when I play my Frank Sinatra greatest hits CD. Any of these songs should work well: “I Get a Kick Out of You” ; “Luck Be a Lady” ; “Love and Marriage” ; “Strangers in the Night” ; “Lady is a Tramp” ; “Theme from New York, New York”
Speaking of “crazy,” here’s a theremin version of that song:
http://www.peterpringle.com/music/crazy.mp3
It’s a double-killer! C&W will drive most urbanites out of their minds. That’s it’s a theremin version will take care of the rest of humanity!
NOW we know why you bought a station wagon. (Sorry if anyone else made this observation; I didn’t have time to read all the other comments)
Brian,
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Use Yoko as a last resort if nothing else. You have to admit it would be effective.
Filter’s “Hey, Man, Nice Shot” is one of my favorite crank-up-the-volume tunes.
My favorites:
1) Verdi’s “Dies Irae” from his Requiem Mass.
2) March to the Scaffold by Berlioz
3) Night on Bald Mountain
4) Anything by the Kronos Quartet
5) MC Hawking
If you wanted to be *really* evil:
1) Any atonal melody by Philip Glass
2) The Throat Singers of Tuva
3) Muzak. *70’s* Muzak
(NOTE: I take no responsibility for mental anguish, insanity, and or war crimes accusations that may stem from playing any of these pieces at loud volumes.)
I’ve been known to be driving along the street in my car, listening to classical music and orchestra-level volumes (and when you used to be last chair second violin in an orchestra, wedged between the timpani and the horn section, in an orchestra with a director who was all too fond of Copland, you learn to enjoy classical music very loud…)
It does seem to make people get out of my way a heck of a lot quick in parking lots.
A third for Wagner and Ride of the Valkyries.
Take a Chance on Me from Abba was also an excellent mention. Super Trooper from Abba would also be a fine choice, as would be anything by Abba, really.
Should have added Witchdoctor by David Seville.
Here’s some stuff to boost my post count:
* Indian rap. While at school, a friend showed me this site:
http://www.dalermehndi.com/
Some other suggestions from friends:
* Taiwanese love songs.
* “Rock Lobster” by the B-52s.
* Anything from Animaniacs.
* William Hung. ‘Nuff said.
* Musicals — “Guys and Dolls” “Hello Dolly” “Oklahoma” “Sound of Music” etc.
* Soundtrack to Disney’s “Alice in Wonderland”.
* Any recordings you can find of people doing bad karaoke.
* You singing in the shower (have fun with that one).
“Pour Some Sugar On Me”–Def Leppard
LOUD– (Is there any other way?)
I don’t know, they may like it!
Anthrax: I’m the Man
Thrash Metal does old school rap, priceless.
K.F.M.D.M.: Ultra
It will go through the roof.
Silver,
It may be effective, but some things just aren’t done – even as a last resort!
I’d really hate to have to pull the trap-door lever on Jay, but if he resorts to Yoko, I will suck it up and do my duty.
Brian Epps
Official Executioner, Music Police.
Suggestion to combat your irratating rapper: how about some old Polish Polkas and some 40’s-50’s-Big Band music? Good luck!!!!!
“Dueling Bangos”
How did all of you miss that one?
“Faeries wear boots” by Black Sabbath if you value symbolism.
I’ve got it!!!!!!! Mr. Rogers neighborhood song!!!
How about Rush Limbaugh’s podcast?
Spice Girls
Cheeky Girls
Britney Spears live
That Paula Cole “cowboys” song
No contest: Ludwig Van’s 9th Symphony.
It might not start out loud, but I can’t think of anything that would bug a gansta more than the final chorus of Ode To Joy at full blast, sung by a German choir with a powerful orchestra in the background.
1812 Overture.
With cannon, of course.
What, no Kate Bush?
And what about Meridith Monk’s Doleman Music , particularly, “The Tale.”
Your neighbors may fear that the aliens have landed…
And then there’s always Laurie Anderson .
All good, but you’re missing the best. There’s a solution for all of this. William Shatner has an album out there if you can find it. Hasselhoff has a few too. If nothing else, go with the 2 disk greatest hits of Johnny Cash. You should be able to enjoy the music, while tormenting your neighbor, and “A Boy Named Sue” always makes me laugh.
Herman’s Hermits – Henry the VIII “I’m Henery the eighth, I am, Henery the eighth I am, I am. I got married to the widow next door, she’s been married seven times before, and everyone was a Henery. HENERY!……..” over and over and over again.
Metallica- And Justice for All. Had to use that on the frat putzes who lived next to me in school. I layed my 15″ subwoofer on its side against our common wall, put that in on repeat on the CD player, and left for the day while they were having a party. When I came back, no more party.
Why re-invent the wheel. Does anyone know what the music was that the US used on Manuel Noriega?
Otherwise I like the bagpipe music even though I’m married to a Scotsman or John Phillips Sousa.
Good Luck and hope this doesn’t turn into a one-upmanship!
What about:
“Tamborine Man”
as sung by William Shatner?
Most of you are too young, but find “Cattle Call” by Eddie Arnold.
If that doesn’t do the trick, nothing will.
Two approaches here –
First is kick-ass rock and roll. For this approach, I would prescribe the first Led Zeppelin album (particularly “Communication Breakdown” or “Dazed and Confused”), or get a copy of “Enter Sandman” by Metallica.
Second is humor and horror all wrapped into one – go find a disc called “Golden Throats” on Rhino Records – it has the following songs:
1) Proud Mary – Leonard Nimoy
2) It Ain’t Me Babe – Sebastian Cabot
3) Blowin’ In The Wind – Eddie Albert
4) Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds – William Shatner
5) A Whiter Shade Of Pale – Noel Harrison
6) I Can See For Miles – Frankie Randall
7) Try A Little Tenderness – Jack Webb
8) Twist And Shout – Mae West
9) House Of The Rising Sun – Andy Griffith
10) Mr. Tambourine Man – William Shatner
11) You Are The Sunshine Of My Life – Jim Nabors
12) White Room – Joel Grey
13) Like A Rolling Stone – Sebastian Cabot
14) If I Had A Hammer – Leonard Nimoy
Just think of the hell you could unleash with Jack Webb singing “Try A Little Tenderness” at 160 decibels…..aaaaawesome….
Try ‘Riding the Storm Out; by REO Speedwagon
or ‘What a Fool Believes’ by the Doobie Brothers.
Led Zeppelin – The Crunge
I’ve heard that Paul Anka has recently cut an album of rock hits including Jump and Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Vanshalar beat me to the “Sound of Music”, “Oklahoma!” and “Hello, Dolly”, so how about just about anything by Olivia Newton John, especially the “Xanadu” soundtrack?
Clint Eastwood singing in (I believe) “Paint Your Wagon”?
And I don’t remember seeing “You Light Up My Life” by Debbie Boone anywhere here.
(I knew about Shatner, but Leonard Nimoy???!!!)
Try a little C & W tune by the title “It’s hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass all day long” by the The Cherry Bombs. That will fry any idiot Rap fan’s a**. It’s available by download at WalMart.com for only .88.
Yoko Ono? Golden Throats? It’s a Small World?
I’d almost forgotten these crimes against civilization, after 30 years… Thanks a big bunch…you dirty b*st*rds…
So he likes rap, huh? How about all those rap treasures from Pat Boone?
You youngsters are not old enough to know what real torment truly is: Bubblegum Music. How about the 1910 Fruitgum Company?
All good suggestions but failed to see Iron Butterfly’s 2d album side 2 In a Gadda Devida 17 mins of
follow that with Deep Purple Highway Star, smoke on the Water,
Uriah Heep Happy Birthday, Fallen Angel
All good suggestions but failed to see Iron Butterfly’s 2d album side 2 In a Gadda Devida 17 mins of
follow that with Deep Purple Highway Star, smoke on the Water,
Uriah Heep, Magician Birthday, Fallen Angel
Two more for the list:
We Built This City (On Rock and Roll)
Achey Breaky Heart