She’s also facing charges of impersonating a Kennedy…

Out of Massachusetts (where else?) comes the tale of a young woman who’s landed herself in a bushel of trouble. (See stories here, here, here, and here.)

Nekita Miranda-Edwards, 18, of Beverly, MA, just like every other teenager, desperately wanted her driver’s license and the freedom they believe comes with it. Unfortunately, she failed the written part of the test last April.

But she didn’t let that discourage her. She just KNEW she was a good driver, and wasn’t going to let any old silly state trooper tell her otherwise. And when her mother told her that she shouldn’t get behind the wheel without proper supervision until she did pass the exam, she ignored Mom, too.

Last weekend, Miranda and some friends went out to spend the day at a pond. Miranda borrowed her friend’s SUV to make a food run, but she never made it.

Instead, she lost control of the SUV on a residential street and crashed into a cinderblock wall. Worse, the wall’s owner had been doing some gardening, and was crushed between the SUV and the wall. She was killed.

Miranda did what any fine, upstanding, moral citizen of Massachusetts would do at that point (as exemplified by their senior Senator): she ran like hell. Well, first she and her passenger went into the severely-injured woman’s house to clean up their cuts from the crash. Once she felt she was presentable, she then fled to some nearby woods, where she called her boyfriend to come pick her up. Unfortunately for her, the police pulled over his car and found her hiding under a sheet. At that point she finally did ask about the woman who she had crushed against a wall, and whose house she had invaded to try to wash off the evidence.

Her lawyer is already spinning this as a “tragic accident,” and in one sense I can see that — the young lady certainly didn’t INTEND to kill anyone. But this wasn’t a single simple, bad choice — this was a chain of bad decisions and knowing wrongful actions that ended up with an innocent woman paying the ultimate price for Miranda’s wrongs.

So, let’s see: driving without a valid license, causing a fatal motor vehicle accident, fleeing the scene of an accident causing injury, and failing to report an accident: judging by Massachusetts historical precedent, she oughta be sentenced to 20 days in jail — suspended.

(Update: typo fixed. Thanks, Tom, for not being a lout about pointing it out.)

Bonfire of the Vanities - Second Anniversary Edition
Let's hoist Ted Kennedy on his own jumbo-sized petard


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