Dr. Cruise Lectures Lauer

(AP Photo/Diane Bondareff)

High school dropout Tom Cruise pulled his Scientology obsessed, crazy train into New York this morning – his zombie virgin fiancee in tow – to grace Today show viewers with his his mastery of psychiatry

Cruise: No, you see. Here’s the problem. You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do.

Lauer: Aren’t there examples, and might not Brooke Shields be an example, of someone who benefited from one of those drugs?

Cruise: All it does is mask the problem, Matt. And if you understand the history of it, it masks the problem. That’s what it does. That’s all it does. You’re not getting to the reason why. There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance.

Lauer: So, postpartum depression to you is kind of a little psychological gobbledygook —

Cruise: No. I did not say that.

Lauer: I’m just asking what you, what would you call it?

Cruise: No. No. Abso — Matt, now you’re talking about two different things.

Lauer: But that’s what she went on the antidepressant for.

Cruise: But what happens, the antidepressant, all it does is mask the problem. There’s ways, [with] vitamins and through exercise and various things… I’m not saying that that isn’t real. That’s not what I’m saying. That’s an alteration of what I’m saying. I’m saying that drugs aren’t the answer, these drugs are very dangerous. They’re mind-altering, antipsychotic drugs. And there are ways of doing it without that so that we don’t end up in a brave new world. The thing that I’m saying about Brooke is that there’s misinformation, okay. And she doesn’t understand the history of psychiatry. She doesn’t understand in the same way that you don’t understand it, Matt.Al Roker, of all people, thumps Cruise on the Today Show blog (proof that blogs are now in dangerous, Shark-jumping territory), Inside the Green Room.

You’re an actor, not a med student. But the best part about being American is that you can say whatever the heck you want in this country, as loopy and as goofy as it might sound.

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