Abu Musab al-Zarqawi who was dead, then wasn’t, then was dead again, then wasn’t, then was captured, then wasn’t, then was shot, then maybe wasn’t, is now dead again. The Friday rumor dejour is that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi died Friday in Fallujah…
Baghdad, 2 June (AKI) – The Jordanian militant Abu Musab al-Zarqawi – al-Qaeda’s leader in Iraq – died on Friday and his body is in Fallujah’s cemetary, an Iraqi Sunni sheikh, Ammar Abdel Rahim Nasir, has told the Saudi on-line newspaper Al-Medina. He claims that gunfights which broke out in Fallujah in the last few days involved militants trying to protect the insurgency leader’s tomb from a group of American soldiers patrolling the area.
During a telephone conversation from the city of Fallujah with the Saudi newspaper, Nasir said al-Zarqawi was taken there after being injured in the city of Ramadi around three weeks ago, and may have been treated by two doctors who had worked with his aides in Baghdad. He said the two doctors had stopped a serious haemorrhage in al-Zarqawi’s intestines, but that after his condition worsened last week, the militant died on Friday.
Nasir adds that in his will the insurgent leader left the order that no funeral should be held for him and the right to announce his death should be left to the al-Qaeda leadership in Afghanistan and Osama bin Laden.
The Al-Medina newspaper reports that it also called the headmaster of a school in Fallujah, who preferred to remain anonymous, but confirmed that many people in the city were aware of the fact that al-Zarqawi had recently been taken to the city.Expect the requisite Python-esque response, “I’m not dead yet” shortly…
I’d think this would be fodder for the Dead Parrot Sketch, myself.
“The Jordanian Blue stuns easily!”
“He’s pining for the mosques!”
“The Jordanian Blue prefers keeping on his back!”
Is Arafat still dead?
So is he mostly dead or all dead this week? People need to know so someone can go through his clothes and look for loose change!
By my calculations, he’s up to at least 432 virgins in the last 2-3 months…
He’s dead really dead … dead as a door.. he’s pushing up daisy’s…
But where is the body??
Maybe he’s hanging with Elvis.
Perhaps he is just pining as they say in the Dead Parrott Sketch.
I will believe these rumors only after they show me pictures and do the DNA tests.
Is it too much to expect them to get dead and stay dead? I can’t be expected to keep track of how many boxes of sweets to order in celebration if you keep bringing him back to life. Does that mean I have to give back the sweets I’ve already bought…btw, would you like one? Take two…they’re small!
Remember the movie Yellowbeard??? Monthy Python characters plus Cheech and Chong and others. Pertinent quote – Us Yellowbeard’s are at our best when we’re dead!
arafish II
funny how you never did see arafat and zarqawi in the same room at the same time……
Always wait for an identifiable corpse.
It also reminds me of the one where the wife keeps trying to kill her cheating husband but he won’t die. I love my husband…I love my husband to death. I hadn’t laughed so much since my sister-in-law fell in the Banana River.
Can you see it? CIA chasing Al Zarqawi thru Baghdad–he panics, jumps out of the getaway car, hobbles away on one leg and all our police academy type CIA got was his lousy computer. It would be funny but we have Americans who really believe this stuff.
In other news…
Mohammed Abdel-Raouf Arafat As Qudwa al-Hussaeini (aka Yasser Arafat) is still dead.
(Palmateer started it.)