"Welcome to Boston. Hand over your wallet and nobody gets hurt."

Last week, Boston’s mayor, Thomas “Mumbles” Menino, unveiled his proposed budget for Beantown. And it was just chock-a-block full of surprises — I mean, who could have expected him, in a time of crying about financial shortages, to announce the biggest budget in Boston’s history?

But residents (you know, the people Mumbles needs to keep somewhat placated to keep getting re-elected) have been complaining about property and other taxes on them being to high. Not to fear; Mumbles has the solution — MORE TAXES!

But these taxes are DIFFERENT. Mumbles wants the city to start getting more of a cut from money paid for parking, meals, and hotels — you know, the places where visitors tend to spend more money.

Mumbles also wants to look into a city income tax, like all the finer cities have. One must keep up with the Joneses (or, in this case, the New Yorks), as well as other taxes.

But not to fear — Mumbles promises that in exchange, he’ll reduce the city property tax.

Um… oops, my bad. No, he doesn’t. In fact, his hired gun expert begrudgingly admits that such taxes have resulted in lowered property taxes in… um… well, it must have happened SOMEWHERE, but he can’t recall exactly where.

Ah, the good old Massachusetts Democrats’ Solution To All Problems — tax your way to prosperity.

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I’ve often cited, quoted, and mentioned Boston columnist, talk-show host, and general gadfly Howie Carr. He claims to have hung the nicknames “Live Shot” on John Kerry and “Mumbles” on Tom Menino. Recently, Menino’s people started buying up all the domain names they could think of that could be used to insult and mock Mumbles, but they missed one variant. Howie’s people quickly swooped in and bought www.mumblesmenino.us, and immediately set it up with some of Hizzoner’s greatest hits.

There’s an old piece of wisdom that one should “never get into a fight with a man who buys ink by the barrel,” advising politicians to not get into disputes with newspapermen. When that guy also has a nationally-syndicated talk show, it’s just infinitely worse.

Make room for daddy -- he's packing heat!
Carnival of the Trackbacks XII


  1. jjs May 21, 2005
  2. job May 22, 2005
  3. Mike May 23, 2005