The Real Ann Coulter

Time magazine delves into the psyche of Ann Coulter in a cover story in the upcoming issue of Time. The story is available online to Time subscribers. After reading the article I’m not sure I really know more or less about Coulter, but I do think I remember where we’ve met…

Washington wasn’t quite sure what to make of the spindle-shanked blond. “When I first met her,” says a fellow conservative, “she was walking around with a black miniskirt and a mink stole, making out with Bob Guccione Jr. in the stairwell.” (Coulter dated publisher Guccione, son of the porn mogul, for six months. She says the stairwell story “could be” true, although “I make out in public less often now that I’m publicly recognizable.” As for living on chardonnay and cigarettes, Coulter says that’s “definitely true.”) Except for a brief stint in Missouri, where she clerked for a federal judge, Coulter has never lived in a so-called red state; in fact she obliterates the overcooked red-blue distinction. Although beloved in Bush country, Coulter lives in a New York City apartment, loves expensive Manhattan restaurants, chews Nicorette in church and hardly ever misses the drag queens’ Halloween parade in Greenwich Village.

…One friend has dubbed her “the blond-tressed fascist spellbinder.”Then it occurred to me, who Ann Coulter really is…

Ann Coulter is the hard partying former sorority girl you quasi-dated when you moved to DC. She’s the one with propensity to igniting bar-fights while swilling NattyBo’s, the one who sits in with the band at the Tombs though she plays no instruments.

She’s the girl leading the female takeover of the port-a-potties at Rally In The Alley; the one who talks you into a 2:00am ride from Capital Hill to the Little Tavern in Georgetown, even though you have to cover one eye to see straight.

She’s the one who captivated you with her daring recklessness, but ultimately disappointed you when you realized there might not be anything to your relationship beyond the endless nights of partying and drama [think St. Elmo’s Fire].

I always wondered what happened to that girl…

Previous Related Stories At Wizbang:

Ann Coulter at the 2004 RNC
Ann Coulter at at CPAC 2005

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Update: Tons of sites have noted one of the photos accompanying the story purports to be of anti-Coulter signs at the Republican National Convention, the the sign is actually by Communists for Kerry, a satirical conservative site mocking John Kerry. A little Google work by the Time editors would have prevented having to make a correction like this.

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