New Wizbang contest: Name the new Secretary General! – The winners

This is a bittersweet posting for me. I was too wiped out from work last night to judge the contest, and I really should be packing and whatnot, but I don’t like leaving any loose threads.

Anyway, to recap, the contest was to nominate Kofi Annan’s replacement at the United Nations. There were a metric ton of good entries, even after I had to toss out a bunch of funny as hell ones because their nominators didn’t include their credentails. These were the ones that really, really stuck out:

The “Tastelessly Obvious” award goes to Chevy, for tying in Michael Jackson and the U.N. sex scandals.

I had to create a whole new “Weekend At Bernie’s Best Use Of A Corpse” category to include Hunter Thompson, Sam Kinison (who I almost used instead of Bobcat, but I figured one corpse would be enough), Johnny Cochran, and Jeff Weise. Thanks, The Man, Pat Downing, mesablue, and James.

The “Oh, Why Not, It’ll Get Him Out Of The Classroom” award goes to The Man, for Ward Churchill.

The “Heir Apparent” award goes to JATO, for nominating Kojo Annan.

The “But Can He Stand The Pay Cut” award goes to Ira, who points out that Oliver Willis has been auditioning for the job for some time now.

The “The Sarcasm’s So Thick I Can Cut It With A Knife” goes to wayne, who would like to see Al Sharpton get the nod.

The “This Oughta Bring Him Out Of Hiding” award goes to Stan25, for his proffering Osama Bin Laden.

The “Oh, My Stomach” award goes to Loon, who would like to see Peter Jennings and Hanan Ashrawi curl up together behind the podium.

The “He Needs To Supplement His Pension” award goes to Steven L., who puts forth Dan Rather.

The “Deja Vu All Over Again” award goes to E. Nough, who would like to see Boutros Boutros-Ghali return.

The “Any Excuse To Abuse The French” award is split between Just Me, who nominated Jacques Chirac, and BR, who offered up Jerry Lewis.

The “Most Flagrant Suck-Up Award” is going unclaimed this week, as it was just too flagrant even for my desperate ego. Come on, people, put a LITTLE effort into it!

The “Currently Divorced From Reality” award goes to Scott, who wants to see Duck Dodgers take it.

And finally, the “Laurence Simon Sick And Twisted Bastard” Award goes to…

(drum roll, please)

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ME. Not only for putting forth Yassir Arafat’s rotting corpse, but for coming up with this (and several other) contests in the first place. Dammit, it’s about time I won SOMETHING…

Thanks again for playing, everyone. And not just for this week, but for every week I’ve put one up. And I dunno when there’ll be another non-caption contest here at Wizbang, but please keep checking…


Another Change In Direction
Seductive Simplicity


  1. JTAO April 1, 2005
  2. Morris April 1, 2005
  3. Young Irelander April 1, 2005
  4. wavemaker April 1, 2005
  5. howard_deans_crush_on_jane_fonda April 2, 2005