Austin Bay is soliciting serious nominations to who should succeed the depressed Kofi Annan as Secretary General of the United Nations. I was about to make my own nominations when I noticed that darn word “serious.”
So there’s the newest Wizbang contest — nominate the next Secretary General. Be sure to give your nominee’s qualifications, as well. And with luck, I’ll announce the winners on Thursday.
Here’s a few examples to get you started:
Yassir Arafat: they loved him so much when he was alive, let them deal with his rotting corpse.
Scott Peterson: not only would running the UN be, most likely, a fate worse than death, but the former fertilizer salesman is used to to dealing with that kind of BS.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Not only would sending a comedian to the UN send exactly the right message, they’d have to hire yet more translators to understand what he was telling them.
J.
.
Chapaquidick Ted He knows how to get away with murder.
Helen Thomas – She has an opinion on everything…her opinions are always correct…she hates Bush.
Ramsey Clarke – Beloved by Old Europe and dictators around the world, he holds the appropriate anti-American positions.
Maureen Dowd – Crazy is as crazy does….Who better to lead the asylum.
Hillary. She will ban mini-skirts so that her nuts won’t show.
S – thanks for the vote of confidence!
Richard Gere — He has already informed the Palestinians he speaks for the whole world. Now he deserves the UN title to go with his “reality”.
Ted Turner. Who wouldn’t want to see the General Assembly doing the ole Tomahawk Chop whenever they pass a resolution against Israel?
Ohhhhhh, oh OH-oh-oh-oh,
Ohhhhhh, Oh, Ohhhhhhh.
Jerry Lewis – beloved by the French – and he can save us a lot of money by broadcasting a 365-day telethon for the UN, 24 hours a day on CNN – only to pro-UN countries.
Jerry Lewis for UN Secretary General: campaign poster.
Just pick someone at random, with one “negative filter”; anyone who expresses affiliation with any political party should be excluded. That way, megalomaniacs would – on balance – be filtered out, and so would soft-headed morons who view politics the way normal people view sporting contests.
In its current structure, the UN is almost as pointless as the scum who run the UN’s member States – economic parasites to a man (just like ALL poiticians). As for the latter, their only contribution is to fuck up our lives in new and interesting ways, and to increase the share of taxes in GDP (and/or to try and violate intertemporal budget constraints) in order to better fatten the wallets of their corporate paymasters (I shreik this as a dedicated capitalist who actually recognises CRONY capitalism when he sees it).
Cheerio,
GT.
I second the Arafat nomination: at least a dead guy is less likely to embezzle, and when they commit crimes against humanity, they can legitimately he was unaware of it.
Failing that, my nomination would be Jeff Weise — maybe he’d manage to cap a few ambassadors before the security guards took him down.