A little while ago, I received an e-mail from Keith at Sortapundit, who wanted me to sign his petition calling on Oliver Willis to resign. This was in response to Willis’ demand that Brit Hume resign from Fox News after he… um… I dunno. It seemed to involve FDR, social security, and I think some albino muskrats were involved somewhere. I declined, quoting my mother once saying “everyone in life has a purpose, even if it’s to be a bad example.”
Once I saw Keith’s actual work, though, I regretted blowing him off. It was actually kind of fun. I thought about it some more, and decided to start a new contest — a “Brit Hume Resignation Watch Watch.” I’d start a betting pool on how long Cousin Oliver (he reminds me, among others, of that annoying little twit from the Brady Bunch) would keep up this pathetic little crusade.
But I procrastinated too long. After 33 days, Oliver quietly took down the campaign. In eerie similarity to the rewriting of Soviet history and the removal of key figures in Communist history, the call has been quietly “disappeared” and no mention of it remains on his main page.
I’m not going to let this just slide away, though. I wanted to mock and deride Cousin Oliver, and by God, I will NOT be denied.
His latest crusade seems to be Tom Delay. Delay, it seems, must resign immediately, for the unpardonable sin of… um… I dunno, maybe he wore white after Labor Day or put his elbows on the table at a state dinner. I’m not too worried about Mr. Delay’s future, though; a ringing condemnation from Cousin Oliver seems to be good for people’s job security.
But here’s my idea: a betting pool on who next will feel the wrath of Cousin Oliver. Who will be the next to face the horror, the terror, that is Cousin Oliver’s demand for a resignation?
1) Arnold Schwarzenegger, governor of California
2) Antonin Scalia, outspoken Supreme Court justice
3) John Bolton, Ambassador to the United Nations nominee
4) Mitt Romney, governor of Massachusetts
5) Bill Frist, Majority Leader of the Senate
6) Glenn Reynolds, Blogfather and law professor
7) Other (fill in your own best guess)
This isn’t a formal contest. There will be no votes counted, no awards for the most creative nominee or rationalization, and (most likely) no followups posted.
In fact, the only clear winner I can see from this is whoever Cousin Oliver next decides to target for his “demands” for their resignation. With his track record for success, that move will pretty much locks up their job security.
Update: (sigh) link corrected. My apologies, Keith. I am SUCH a twit sometimes.