Dang, I think I had more entries for this contest than I did for my “movie pitch” contest. I keep getting overwhelmed by my own success (or, rather, the creativity and perversity of Wizbang’s readers).
Judging this one was too tough, so I’m going to dispense with the standard first – second – third ranking, and just give out special awards in the extended section. And it’s only about half as long as it should be — there were some truly outstanding entries. Go back and see for yourselves.
The IKEA Bookends Award goes to Eric, for pairing up “a squeal of teenage girls” with “a slouch of teenage boys.”
The Oedipus Award For Horrifying Imagery Award goes to bullwinkle, for “a crack of plumbers.”
The Running A Theme Into The Ground Award goes to Doug Stewart, who put way too much effort into coming up with “Collectives of geese are called different things based upon what they are doing: “flock” in general, “skein” in flight, “gaggle” when earthbound, etc. I hereby suggest a similar naming scheme for engineers (feel free to add to the list):
* When discussing tech specs of cars, computers or anything technical, they become a geeking of engineers.
* When quoting The Simpsons or Monty Python, they become a snort.
* When discussing their current management, they become a carping.”
The Bowdler Award goes to spacemonkey, for “a [bleep] of censors.”
spacemonkey also takes a Truth Is An Absolute Defense Award for “a felony of rappers.”
Most Subtle Political Plug Award goes to Ray Midge, who contributed “a Bushel of democracies.”
The Burn The Blasphemer Award goes to jmaster, for “a shiite load of Iranian terrorists.”
jmaster also takes the L33T Props Award for “a pwned of geeks,”
and the Best Combination of Ethnic Slurs And Vulgarity Award for “an erection of Japanese politicians.”
The In Vino Veritas Award goes to Kadnine, for “a gutter of drunks.”
The Laurence Simon Sick And Twisted Bastard Award goes to Julie, for “a handful of Onan.” First Runner-Up was arb, who stole Ed McBain’s “a snatch of hookers.” Second Runner-up was Laurence Simon, for his “a burst of Palestinians.
And finally, the E. Nough Is E. Nough Award goes to McGehee for “a groan of puns.”
I dunno if I’ll have another contest next week… judging these things is HARD. And so is coming up with original ideas. Maybe I’ll just find a picture to let people caption…
Nah. Nobody’d be interested in that.