I’ve avoided writing about this topic for a couple weeks now, but the story keeps getting stranger and stranger, sadder and sadder.
But as Hunter S. Thompson often said, “when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
Milton Academy is an extremely exclusive and prestigious private school in Milton, Massachusetts, just south of Boston. Tuition runs $32,000/year for boarding students. It’s educated the powerful and famous for centuries.
But recently, Milton Academy had a little problem. It turns out that several of its students were misbehaving, and got caught. The students were disciplined, and the matter was closed.
Or so they thought. This is where it gets weird, lurid, and more than a little disturbing.
The initial reports were that a 15-year-old female student, fairly new to the school (as her name is not being revealed, we’ll call her “Monica” for reasons that will soon become apparent), was fond of several players on the hockey team. So fond of them was she that she met five of them in the locker room and orally serviced all five of them during a 15-minute period. Unfortunately, two more students walked in on this and reported it to authorities. The five hockey players (all ages 16 and 17) were summarily expelled, and Monica was placed on “administrative leave” and sent home to (blush) New Hampshire.
Everyone was all atwitter about this, but the story was seen as mostly over. After all, all six students were gone, unlikely to return. The only question was whether the local prosecutor was going to file statutory rape charges against the boys.
Then more stories arose. It seems that two days prior to the locker room party, Monica had sneaked into a boy’s dormitory room. There she serviced three of the same boys from the locker room incident, as well as a fourth, while a fifth stood watch. The school reopened the matter long enough to place that fourth boy — who is 15, like Monica — on “administrative leave” as well — again, like Monica.
And just as the dust settles from that revelation, here comes this story in this morning’s Boston Herald. It seems that two weeks after the locker room incident, the same five hockey players attended a “Sweet Sixteen” birthday party in a Boston hotel for a female student. The theme of the party (in a suite reserved paid for by a student’s parent) was obvious from the get-go; guests were greeted by two topless girls at the door, including Monica, and there was plenty of booze around. The phrase “drunken orgy” certainly seems to apply.
I… I don’t know what to add to this story. I find myself saddened, disgusted, envious, titillated, and deeply troubled by this whole account. It raises far more questions about education, morality, the law, parental responsibility, the state of society, academics and sports…
And I just don’t have the stomach to deal with it all. I’ll let you kick it around.
J.
Gads y’all got some really twisted ideas about sex and marriage.
I don’t think they were really talking about marriage Darleen. I think the point was the shift in attitude over time about when people become sexually mature. A 15 year old female being married with children was perfectly normal for most of human history, and for us to assume that people of that same age today are not sexual beings is foolish. While I do think that teenagers today are oversexed due to constant barrage of sex in the media, to think that they are all downy innocents who could only engage in sexual behavior if they were forced or abused is contrary to our biological makeup. That was the point they were making, but nice job trying to distort it into being about marriage and promiscuity being the same thing.
Personally I couldn’t care less about rich boarding school kids giving each other or getting hummers in the locker room. It’s just preparation for Congress anyway.
RE: mantis’s post (March 3, 2005 02:52 AM)
Personally I couldn’t care less about rich boarding school kids giving each other or getting hummers in the locker room. It’s just preparation for Congress anyway.
Um, I see a typo, mantis. Didn’t you mean President, or was that just a misdirection?
There’s no way this girl was in any way coerced. If you look at the repeated instances of this behavior, she has “issues”. The boys should be counseled on their behavior, but not expelled.
So it was because of her self-esteem problem, not TV? Where exactly do you think that self-esteem problem came from?
Didn’t you mean President, or was that just a misdirection?
Well, sure I saw the Clinton joke, but it’s just so damn obvious. Plus they can’t all be president.
(From the Jennifer with Kids)
I didn’t once say this girl was a victim. I do not subscribe to the culture of victims. That is the big problem we have right now in this country. Two generations of people with ZERO coping skills.
I thought we were talking about the behavior not the schools arbitrary decision to discipline the students. Frankly i think the action of the school will change little and the guys will go on and find another petri dish and the girl will move on to another group of boys. Look at all the attention she got out of this. Hell, her parents will probably double the tuition and send her to an even more exclusive school. That way she can give blow jobs to more wealthy cock. Money fixes it all,right?
The parents will blame the boys and the school for not supervising and totally absolve themselves for the crime of sending your kids off to be raised by someone else.
“If you had kids you’d feel differently thing.”
Cliche or whatever you want to call it, it is true. When you have kids you will immediately know that. I have a friend who sounded just like you before she had kids. Now she sings a different tune.
I understand you are young, we all were at one time. There is a big picture here that is not clearly visible until you are older. I do not say that to be condescending, I say it because it is a simple reality. People surviving to adulthood is just sheer dumb luck, but amazingly most of us get there relatively unscathed. That is no longer true. In the past kids would get drunk at the prom or perhaps have sex before they should, that is considered mundane when considered to the Reality Porn going on in schools today.
Healthy sexuality keeps getting mentioned over and over. I think that is what all our goals as parents are, for our kids to have a healthy sense of sexuality when they grow up. What we want is for them to reach a level of maturity that lets them approach sex with a healthy perspective not recklessness and abandon.
A 15 year old female being married with children was perfectly normal for most of human history, and for us to assume that people of that same age today are not sexual beings is foolish.
Maybe, someone should research whether the 15 year old knocked up with her fourth kid felt it was perfectly normal. It may have been the way things were at one time, but it doesn’t necessarily make it right. And for you to assume being married off at age 13 to some geezer has anything to do with sexual pleasure for the female, is foolish.
I assumed nothing about geezers and sexual pleasure. I was merely making the point that for much of human history, when females and males became sexually mature, they were considered mature enough to be married, and therefore sexually active. Insisting that people are not sexually mature until eighteen is a recent development, and one not based on our biology. Mental and emotional maturity are of course a different matter altogether.
Mantis, you made me laugh out loud.
Other Jennifer: thanks, granny. I never said anything about my age. I’m nearly thirty; while I know that’s not “old” I’m certainly not a 15 year old trying to justify my own horny existence.
Mantis made my point better than I could: I was merely pointing out that this idea of fifteen year olds not being capable of making life-changing decisions and/or deciding to have sex is a recent invention, and goes against biology. I withhold judgment about this girl because I don’t know her.
I think our culture is “oversexed” to the extent that courting has fallen by the wayside in favor of hookups. That’s too bad; I’d rather be courted than have someone trying to get in my knickers all the time. I also would prefer the old dating rules where the guy pays and opens the door, because deep inside I am a spoiled princess. But is all the sex stuff necessarily horrible? Eh.
Marriage is a seperate issue because only the two individuals involved (and their church, perhaps) can make it “sacred.” After all, it doesn’t matter whether I beleive in fidelity and don’t believe in divorce if my spouse doesn’t adhere to the same beliefs – I could still end up divorced for some other woman. I also think it’s perfectly possible to be “promiscuous” (whatever your individual definition of THAT might be) and still end up having a sacred marriage. Maybe many of you think that is an inherent contradiction, but I believe in forgiveness, maturity, and learning from our experiences.
I won’t go so far as to say, though, that the girl absolutely was not exploited, because five on one looks bad — but. I wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion, is all. When females hit sexual maturity they like to experiment with their newfound power over males. That’s about as natural as it gets, and whether its healthy or not depends entirely on the individual. I’m just repeating myself now so I’ll stop.
Back to the basics. This girl is effed up. This is abnormal, unhealthy behavior for anyone. Period. I had two sisters, as well as younger Jennifer, and it wouldn’t have bothered me one bit if they gave BJ’s to the entire fleet. It would only have pissed me off because of the stigma I would have to have endured as their sister. But then, THEN I had my own daughter and things WERE different.
Our kids are being desensitized to sex. It doesn’t hold the aura of being sacred anymore. I’m no prude either, but to separate sex from love just ain’t right. And that’s what is happening in our society. They’re being told it’s alright to have sexual feelings. And it IS alright, but they’re also being told it’s okay to experiment. Well, now I have a problem. It’s not okay because in this day and age, it can have mortal consequences. Still, with the various and sundry diseases out there, they still haven’t gotten the message that oral sex transmits disease too. Amazing, isn’t it? Ask any of them if they’d stick a needle in their arm and they’ll say, “Ewww, I could die from disease.” Well, stick a penis in your mouth and you could die too.
As far as the “old days” and getting married off at 13 or even younger? Think about it. Girls couldn’t work the farm like boys. You didn’t see parents marrying off their pre-teen boys, did you? Hell no! It didn’t have a damn thing to do with being considered “sexually mature”. It was practical to get the daughter married off. One less mouth to feed that couldn’t pull a plow. And when the woman gets old and her husband dies, she’s a real burden again. Old men got to be “wise elders” and women were disposable.
This whole thing about sexuality in our children hasn’t changed in a millenia, just our approach to it. We want more for our kids so we teach them (or some of us do) that responsibilities come along with it. If those same pre-teen girls getting married off way back when had engaged in sex without being married they were ostracized the same as they are in some cases today. No, things haven’t changed except in the minds of the most vocal few trying to justify what has always been considered “questionable” behavior.
In defense of the school. Maybe they have reason to believe that she *was* coerced. Maybe not. We don’t have all the XXX details. However, this young girl needs help.
I like how the discussion has somehow moved to “this is okay, because back in the day, people married at 13.” Were 13-year-old girls also servicing their schoolmates, five at a pop, back in the day?
Doubt it.
I understand that 15-year-old girls have sexual urges. But the mere possession of those urges doesn’t give girls free license to express them, nor should they be encouraged to. Girls that age also have the urge to defecate, but they aren’t exactly encouraged to do that everywhere, in any fashion, are they?
I find it fascinating that our society has made sexual urges so sacred that even young adults and old children (whose sexual urges are unfocused, immature, and sometimes very strong) must be allowed to express those urges in any way, at any time, and God help those of us who might try to interfere, or label some urges are more normal than others.
JenniferG mentioned “What we want is for them to reach a level of maturity that lets them approach sex with a healthy perspective not recklessness and abandon.” That requires that we sometimes stifle their precious sexual urges. And no one’s ever been able to explain to my satisfaction why it would be so damaging to discourage 15-year-olds from having sex.
[quote]And why punish any of the boys? Do we really expect that any 17 year-old would say no to a free BJ?[/quote]
I think that this a blatant case of sexual discrimination. The boys were singled out for their gender, not for what they did. Where does it say that females are better, because of their gender. It is the radial lesbo-feminists that are making a mountain out of a molehill. This kind of thing will keep going on between teenagers until the end of time.
I think that sexual maturity is being confused with mental maturity. I personally do not think that anything I said make me sound like a grannie. This is not an argument for or against promiscuity either, it is about the promiscuity of a 15 year old girl. Not just screwing her boyfriend which happens all the time and while not ideal for anyone involved it is still entirely different than taking on the damn hockey team.
Can we at least agree that group sex at 15 is not right? Everyone at fifteen thinks they are mature. They are almost always full of shit. Sure there are kids mature enough at 15 to raise siblings because they have to be the mature one. Do you really think this girl is that type of girl? I doubt it. Her actions scream immaturity, not maturity. I read an article about the abortion rate with girls in these communities where these sex parties are going out of control. They have no idea who the daddy is, they do not care either, they just have it sucked out like passing a freakin’ peach pit.
I fail to see how behavior like this leads to anything positive. There is not next step to this scenario that makes it healthy. Call me a grannie if you want. I am far from a prude. I am just disgusted and disillusioned with things like this.
Can we at least agree that group sex at 15 is not right?
I certainly agree with that. I think there is a big difference between biological, sexual maturity and mental or emotional maturity. This girl clearly lacks the latter, for whatever reason.
I only referred to you as “granny” because you brought up the subject of my age. It was kind of a joke.
It’s funny you mention abortion; I’d still rather have a fifteen year old giving BJs than having sex. I can’t agree that group sex is wrong for anyone but myself, but that’s because I take a libertarian view about other people’s sex lives and mind my own business.
I will note, however, that I assume this girl is mentally very immature, solely based on her school — wealthy kids, in my experience, tend to be pretty sheltered and isolated from the “real” world; tend to be indulged and don’t have to take much responsibility. In actuality I pretty much agree with what you guys are all saying: This girl’s a slut, she’s got serious problems, and her parents are probably not good parents. But I just hated to see everyone assuming she’s a victim and 15 year olds having sex is so horrible (even multiple bjs). I like to be the devil’s advocate. But in all likelihood, if either of my little sisters pulled this — well, they wouldn’t. We have great parents, they both have a pretty evolved sense of self, and would never be unsupervised in a situation where they could give BJs to the hockey team. Plus, no daughter of my father would ever consider it. Sorry to cause y’all so much stress, I just hate how we treat teenagers as if they can’t make decisions. I think you’re wrong that most fifteen year old can’t make these kinds of decisions.
Which is why I’m in favor of executing minors who commit cold-blooded murders, like the kid in this week’s SCt decision. Seems totally OT, but it isn’t — either we think kids can make these distinctions, or we don’t. We can’t execute them but say they are victims if they have group sex; we can’t say they shouldn’t have to notify parents if they decide to have an abortion (though I imagine you, Jenniferg, would be in favor of parental notification laws, so that doesn’t really apply to you) — thus stating they can make the decision to abort a fetus, but are not capable of deciding whether to service the entire hockey team.
You said it was perfectly normal for girls to be married off young. What’s normal about no sexual pleasure? And, because it was practiced for much of human history does not make it right, good, or normal. Insisting that because a young girl ovulates, she is sexually mature, i.e., ready to start bearing children, is not based on biology. Maternal and infant mortality rates are extremely high for young girls.
Hey julie, just cuz someone married young doesn’t mean they didn’t derive pleasure from sex. The two don’t necessarily correlate. And, just because we’ve come up with it recently doesn’t make it “right” “good” or “normal” either. “Sexual maturity” in the physical sense — i.e., able to bear children, capable of sexual desire, capable of sexual arousal — is exactly predicated on biology. And maternal/infant mortality ratesd have nothing to do with whether or not someone is capable of deciding to give bjs to a group of guys.
Thank God Hal Clement (who used to teach there) is dead now and doesn’t have to put up with that silliness!
You said it was perfectly normal for girls to be married off young. What’s normal about no sexual pleasure? And, because it was practiced for much of human history does not make it right, good, or normal. Insisting that because a young girl ovulates, she is sexually mature, i.e., ready to start bearing children, is not based on biology. Maternal and infant mortality rates are extremely high for young girls.
I said it was normal, not that it is normal. Norms change. It’s still pretty common in other countries. I also never said normal is necessarily good or right. It is based on biology. Those mortality rates are high compared to older women, due to the fact that pregnant teenagers often don’t take care of themselves, not because their bodies aren’t capable. This of course shows that they are not emotionally mature enough to be having sex in the first place, but physically they are more capable of bearing children than they will ever be. Teenage girls are more fertile than older women and are more likely to become pregnant.
Jennifer: And just because someone might have doesn’t mean that most did or that it is normal, necessary, or right to marry girls off at age 13. Unless you think being 15 and pregnant with your third or fourth kid, all breastfed, little or no medical care, and your daily chores makes you soooo hot! Biology would favor the ability to bear live children and survive childbirth. The higher maternal and infant mortality rates for young girls indicates it does not. The discussion between me and mantis had focused on a different aspect of the debate. However, I see you are intent on bringing it back to what appears most important to you: giving bjs to guys.
Oh, no, my poor hurt feelings! You certainly put me in my place. I’d better slink home and give some blow jobs. That’ll teach me!
“JenniferG mentioned “What we want is for them to reach a level of maturity that lets them approach sex with a healthy perspective not recklessness and abandon.”
I don’t think we’re in disagreement here except that I think the ‘solution’ is to demand more maturity of teenagers not continue to demand less (as witness Supreme Court decision on juvenile death penalty). This is being looked at as a bunch of little boys and a little girl who either didn’t know anybody or were possible victims (of TV, low self-esteem, whatever…). The only thing anyone here was a victim of was bad parenting and lack of judgment and self-discipline. And I simply won’t concede that if teens were mature enough to raise families 50 to 100 hundred years ago that something has changed to make them “children” incapable of taking responsibility for their actions today.
My fingers typed faster than my brain. That should have read “…didn’t know any better…” not “didn’t know anybody”.
Darleen: Miss Primness and Virtue, do you realize what your acronym “WTF” stands for?
Tom,
everyone knows that!
Who’s The Fool!
😛