Winston Churchill once allegedly stated that the Royal Navy’s greatest traditions were rum, sodomy, and the lash.
According to this story, all they’re missing now is the lash.
You may commence with the “seamen” jokes, the “going down with the ship” jokes, the “dive! dive! dive!” jokes, and the like.
Where can you find pleasure, search the world for treasure,
learn science, technology?
Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
on the land or on the sea?
Where can you learn to fly, play in sports or skindive,
Sign up for the big band or sit in the grand stand
when your team and others meet.
In the Navy, yes, you can sail the seven seas.
In the Navy, yes, you can put your mind at ease.
In the Navy, come on now people, make a stand.
In the Navy, can’t you see we need a hand.
In the Navy, come on, protect the motherland.
In the Navy, come on and join your fellow, man.
In the Navy, come on, people, and make a stand.
In the Navy, in the Navy.
Ah, and no cannabalism.
HT to Monty Python
“There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when
I say none, I mean there is a certain amount.” – Sir John Cunningham
Janette: you forgot the rest of the refrain:
They want you! They want you! They want you as a new recruit!
Macker: You’re right, I missed the most relevent part!
“Lower the periscope and fire one”- Dan Rather overheard whilst in CBS’ restroom…..
I’m a dedicated muffdiver myself seeking the elusive bearded clam….
Where else can you rise to the title of “Rear Admiral”
Now I feel somewhat vindicated for my “Run Silent, Run Deep Throat” movie title from last week.
Jay, any chance I can be retroactively upgraded from my dis-honorable mention to an honorable mention? Maybe in a “Life Imitates Art” category?
I know I had a ‘Poop Deck” joke around here somewhere…. I just don’t know where I put it. Damn. Doncha just hate when that happens.
Smithers: “I think women and seamen don’t mix.”
C. Montgomery Burns: “We know what YOU think.”
Marty, maybe it fell into the bathwater…
From what I’ve heard “It ain’t gay underway.”
“Blow the man………down?”
In the Navy, we have made a new plan,
In the Navy, you can make it with a man,
In the Navy, you can smoke a lot of dope,
In the Navy, just don’t bend over for the soap,
In the Navy,we sing the national anthum,
In the Navy, you can take it up the bum,
We want you, We want you,
We want you, and your a*****e, too!
New British Navy recruitment ad:
“Join the Navy. Take showers with dozens of men and get paid for it.”
New British Navy Motto:
“The British Navy – Where Mates really are mates.”
It’s not your assholes that we’re interested in. We’re all bottoms, so it’s your big cock that we really crave. Join up, baby!
Unfotunately the rum ration went out in the 1960s. Replaced with a beer ration. Father was most upset.
At first I thought you attributed the quote to Ward Churchill. I actually had to return to this blog to re-read it. I think I’m overloaded with current events. agh.