Like Kryptonite to reality

“There’s desperation, there’s desperation in the air
It leaves a stain on all your clothes and no detergent gets it out”

Meat Loaf, Life Is A Lemon (And I Want My Money Back)

Poor, poor Oliver Willis. He finds himself desperately scrambling for relevance, in hopes of keeping the paychecks coming in from Media Matters, but finds that the harder he tries, the more of his credibility (such as it ever was) swirls down the bowl.

His latest hissy-fit is all about the Presidential debate back in the first week of October. Even though everyone with two neurons in their skulls to rub together (this excludes Oliver and the general populace of places like Democratic Underground) has looked and looked again at the “bulge” in President Bush’s back and dismissed it as a form of body armor (to the point of finding pictures of him driving his pickup with the same bulge), but Oliver has found some whackjob to justify his repeated howler about Bush being “wired for sound” during the debate.

Let’s just look at this carefully for a minute. Let’s assume that the President, through the CIA, Secret Service, FBI, or Department of Agriculture, has access to a teeny-tiny receiver. A receiver that operates on a uninterceptible, unjammable, undetectable frequency so none of the press or Kerry operatives can pick up on it or interfere with it. Let’s further assume that he had a group of experts standing by nearby, listening in and feeding him lines. And that every single person who must have been in on this hasn’t spoken out, despite the virtual guarantee of huge financial rewards from publishers, magazines, and George Soros.

Let’s just say that all that has been overcome, and Bush wears the wire. Let’s see just how the fitting would go.

“You guys sure this’ll work?”

“We’ve tested it extensively, Mr. President. If you’ll just remove your shirt, we’ll hang it down from your neck and attach it to your back.”

“Hey, why are you putting it right between my shoulder blades? Won’t anyone notice it sticking out?”

“No, sir, we’re sure everyone is too stupid to notice that.”

“Why don’t you just stick it in the small of my back, where there’s a natural hollow and the hang of my coat will cover it better? Why up by my shoulder blades, the part that sticks out most?”

“Because that would require an additonal 12 inches of wire, and nobody thought of that when we were making this thing.”

But since Oliver wants to bring up that debate yet again, I’d really, REALLY like him to discuss just what it was John Kerry took out of his pocket, unfolded, and put on the lectern in front of him. By the terms of the debate, any and all materials were to be given to debate officials beforehand and would be placed on the lecterns for the candidates. For them to bring anything — anything at all — was a violation. Especially prepared notes, which is what it looks like to me. Bill over at INDC has a truly excellent presentation on this.

Oliver, Oliver, Oliver… it’s sad, to see what you’ve sunken to. You’ve completely lost all perspective, all relevance, and rapidly losing any shreds of clues you might have had.

But I’m not the type to kick a man when he’s down without offering a solution. You seem to be fascinated with the democratic process. Might I suggest a research trip to a couple places where they are discovering freedom, after suffering under brutally oppressive tyrannies. I would suggest you not ask too deeply about just how those changes came about in Afghanistan and Iraq, though — you might find their answers troubling to your carefully-nurtured myths and self-delusions.

J.

Update: Harvey wants to see the picture I referred to — Bush with the lump on his back in his pickup. It’s here. Google is my friend…

Where Are The Watchdogs?
No Really It Will Only Be Massachusetts...

32 Comments

  1. Bullwinkle February 5, 2005
  2. marcus February 5, 2005
  3. Right of Center February 5, 2005
  4. Jim February 5, 2005
  5. Mr. Bowen February 5, 2005
  6. leelu February 5, 2005
  7. Bill from INDC February 5, 2005
  8. Oliver February 5, 2005
  9. Stephen Macklin February 5, 2005
  10. Robert Crawford February 5, 2005
  11. Peter February 5, 2005
  12. tee bee February 5, 2005
  13. Carrick Talmadge February 5, 2005
  14. Harvey February 5, 2005
  15. mesablue February 5, 2005
  16. Jim February 5, 2005
  17. Peter February 5, 2005
  18. shark February 5, 2005
  19. Anachronda February 5, 2005
  20. Mrs.E February 5, 2005
  21. Rob Hackney February 5, 2005
  22. harkyman February 5, 2005
  23. rsb February 5, 2005
  24. Craig R. Harmon February 6, 2005
  25. julie February 6, 2005
  26. Laurence Simon February 6, 2005
  27. Oyster February 6, 2005
  28. Jim February 6, 2005
  29. David Gillies February 6, 2005
  30. Crank February 7, 2005
  31. hobgoblin February 7, 2005
  32. Scott February 7, 2005