A Whore of a different culture

There’s been a bit of a buzz around the blogosphere today about Markos “Screw them” Zunika of Daily Kos having accepted payment for consulting on the Howard Dean presidential campaign. Kos insists he only consulted on “technical matters,” but the people who actually cut the checks thought they were buying plugs and other favorable treatments from Kos.

I have to admit I’m jealous. Nobody, NOBODY’s ever offered me any kinds of bribes or enticements whatsoever to endorse or condemn any position or person, and it’s hurt.

So if Mohammed won’t come to the mountain, this mountain’s going to Mohammed. I’m hereby putting myself out for sale.

For the first five people who give either $100 or a day’s pay to tsunami relief, you get to dictate a posting by me here at Wizbang. You pick the topic, you can even pick which side you want me to argue — I’ll force myself to do it.

Now for the fine print:
1) This is being done on the “honor system.” Make your donation first, THEN post your claim in the comments to this thread. I’m not looking for pledges, but actual gifts. I won’t ask for proof, but I would like to think the readers of Wizbang! are trustworthy.

2) I am committing to only the first five claimants. I will do more if I have the time and the inspiration, but I will do those five.

3) I am reserving the right to reject topics that are too “out there.” I will stretch the hell out of myself for this, but I have limits. I could probably do pieces about “why John Kerry should be president today” and “How much better Massachusetts is than the rest of the country,” but would probably pass on ones like “the Red Sox suck” (I neither know nor care much about sports) or “George W. Bush practices bestiality after the lights go out in the White House” (just too vile). Donors will have up to three chances to come up with an acceptable topic before I dump them and move on to the next entrant.

4) All postings I make as a result of this contest will include at least one link to the donor’s web site (if they have one) and a kind word or two.

5) All postings will be done by January 23, if at all possible. I will certainly do my damndest to get them out sooner.

6) The donations must be made to a reputable charity, and earmarked for tsunami relief.

7) All these rules are subject to change at any time for any reason whatsoever. Especially if some wiseass finds a loophole (yeah, I’m talking about you, Rodney) and I find myself getting royally screwed.

OK, that’s it. I’m officially prostituting my writing ability and posting privileges here at Wizbang! for a worthy cause. I’m tossing down the gauntlet. Break out your checkbooks, then come back here and BRING IT ON.

J.

(Updates below the fold)

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OK, we have the first few winners for postings:

1) Doug Miller — “How can we meet the current military staffing demands without extending the current tours of Guard and Reserve forces?”

2) Scott — “Support a Rumsfeld/Romney Presidential ticket for 2008.”

3) Rightwingsparkle — “Describe how the Religious Right can reconcile itself with the South Park Conservatives away from the War On Terror.”

4) Vanshalar — “Describe why certain things have evolved as ‘gay stereotypes’ and why they’re unfair.”

5) Bill K — “make the case against President Bush’s tax cuts.”

Some real challenges there (particularly Scott’s requiring me to make the case for a 76-year-old man to be elected president), but no one went to out-and-out screw me over. Thanks, folks.

If anyone mentioned above feels I’ve misinterpreted their challenge, please speak up. And just because I’ve filled my minimum commitment doesn’t mean I won’t take more challenges. Let’s keep those bucks rolling in, people…

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32 Comments

  1. Doug January 13, 2005
  2. Jay Tea January 13, 2005
  3. jmflynny January 13, 2005
  4. Big Bang Hunter January 13, 2005
  5. Scott January 14, 2005
  6. Rightwingsparkle January 14, 2005
  7. Jay Tea January 14, 2005
  8. Vanshalar January 14, 2005
  9. Scott January 14, 2005
  10. Jay Tea January 14, 2005
  11. Jay Tea January 14, 2005
  12. Diane January 14, 2005
  13. Bill K January 14, 2005
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