The Great Turkey Caper

Looks like someone in John Conyers’ (D-MI) office ran afowl.

Where did turkeys go?
Gleaners asks if Conyers’ staff helped needy people

The director of a Detroit food bank wants to know what happened to 60 turkeys — 720 pounds of frozen birds — that his charity gave to members of U.S. Rep. John Conyers’ local staff two days before Thanksgiving to give to needy people.

Conyers’ Detroit office promised an accounting of any turkey distribution by Dec. 27, but the Gleaners Community Food Bank had received no paperwork as of Tuesday, said the charity’s director, Agostinho Fernandes.

Fernandes said he became suspicious that the turkeys didn’t get to poor people after hearing from a friend that a federal court worker had said he was offered free turkeys from a member of Conyers’ staff.

Conyers’ press secretary Karen Morgan said Tuesday that she was told that some of Conyers’ staffers gave the turkeys to poor people whose names were provided by the state Family Independence Agency. A fax with those names, she said, was to be sent Tuesday or today to Gleaners.

Maureen Sorbet, a spokeswoman for the FIA, said Tuesday, “I spoke to the central FIA office in Wayne County, and they were unaware of the turkey situation.

“Normally, we don’t provide names” of FIA clients, Sorbet added. “Sometimes at Christmastime we might if people self-disclose. It’s remotely possible.”

By mid-afternoon Tuesday, Fernandes said he had received nothing from Conyers’ office.

“I’ve got to tell you that our mission of feeding hungry people has been violated by the people who should have been guardians of our mission,” Fernandes said. …

“You can imagine how we feel,” Fernandes said. “They didn’t pay anything. This was donations to them to help the needy. We get calls from different representatives who want to put together food baskets for their needy constituents and you have faith that these people are going to bring the food to the people it’s intended to go to.”

While this story lends it self to a host of punny jokes, if John Conyers’ staff swiped turkeys from poor people at Thanksgiving, heads should roll. (Or at least some wings should be clipped)

Update: Captain Ed says everything I wanted to say about this… But I’ve made so many moonbats bark this week I decided to lay low on this one.

Hysterical Update: From the Now I’ve Seen Everything department.

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BTW you heard the word here first… Turkeygate.

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