It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. This week there are two contests, one for a Bush photo and one for a Kerry photo.
Winners will be announced Sunday.
Weekend Caption Contest™ – Kerry Edition
About The Author
Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
“I am human and I want to be loved . . .
Just like everybody else does . .”
Announcers Voice :
“This kind of brain damage Stem Cells will never fix.”
“I am George Bush..and I approve this message.”
I felt so proud to watch the Sox hit those balls over the Green Munster
I did #2!
or
The crowd reacts to Kerry’s statement, “If I have to get it up, believe, I will get it up!”
I am I am I am Superman and I know what’s happening.
I am I am I am Superman and I can do anything.
You don’t really love that cowboy you’re stuck with now do you?
I know you don’t love that chimp ’cause I can see right through you.
I am I am I am Superman and I know what’s happening.
I am I am I am Superman and I can do anything.
(with apologies to REM)
I’ll be a president of ALL the people…terrorists too!
I did ask for Swiss cheese on that cheese steak and I
Union workers flock from far and wide to touch the cloak of their master.
“You like me! You really like me!
Osama and Arafat you really like me!”
(with apologies to Sally Fields, unless you’re for Kerry)
Kerry and crowd:
“Hell is on the way! Hell is on the way! Hell is on the way! Hell is…”
— An isolated voice yells out above the crowd —
“CUT! CUT, DAMN IT, CUUUTTT!
That’s not in the script!
It’s “HELP is on the way…”
Crowd and Kerry fall silent, glance around in pause, then begin chanting even louder:
“HELL IS IN THE HELP! HELL IS IN THE HELP! HELL IS IN THE HELP! HELL IS…”
(Continued)…
A lone voice grabs a megaphone and booms out above the crowd:
“HAIL, SATAN!”
(Continued)…
A booming clap of thunder bursts forth, a voice fills the atmosphere, from no where in particular, from everywhere especially:
“F.*.*.K….YOU….TOOO!”
Balloons descend, crowd melts into pools on the seats…
“Serving in Vietnam is like being in the Fight Club. Except the first rule of serving in Vietnam is to talk about it incessantly every chance you get.”
You know, with this cap on, the really cannot tell how much I look like Herman Munster.
Ooops, gotta hide that left neck bolt!
And while we await the Mothership, Theresa will start handing out the Kool-AId…
Massachussetts Senator and Presidential candidate John Kerry celebrates having correctly identified the Red Sox as Bostons’ baseball team. Confusion with the Patriots had been a longtime problem and campaign concern.
No surprise here – in the one hand, it’s kaka, and in the other hand it’s doo doo. And when I win, I promise you, there’ll be NO NEW stinky discharges!
Senator Kerry was informed today that Senator McCain has reiterated his strong support for President Bush. In a clear sign of late campaign frustration, Senator Kerry said, “Oh yeah? Let’s see McCain do this.” A spokeswoman for the Kerry camp issued a statement that the gesture was in fact a tribute to Senator McCain, and besides, he has publicly acknowledged his disabilities and is therefore ‘fair game.’
“I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, and I’m happy, Doctor, I finally won out over it.”
No more chicken hawks when Bush, Cheney, and Ashcroft bit the dust!! Good bye to big profits, Halliburton. Hello overtime pay for workers and affordable health care!
John Kerry accidentally wins scariest costume when he forgets to wear makeup and skips daily botox.