It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. This week there are two contests, one for a Bush photo and one for a Kerry photo.
Winners will be announced Sunday.
Weekend Caption Contest™ – Bush Edition
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Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
“I’ll never hesitate to defend America…as you can see from the ass-whupping I just put on this pumpkin.”
“This is what the flag will look like if Ohio doesn’t swing for Bush/Cheney.”
“…And whoever can carve me a perfect likeness of John (Gomer Pyle) Kerry, and John (pretty boy) Edwards, gets to be Secretary of Agriculture.”
And now for the Special Halloween Edition of my Gallagher impression…
You in the white hat…watch out!
“Screw that Gin and Raisin crap, Pumpkin-jack will cure what ail’s ya.”
“And another thing about my opponent… HEEEEEE’S A BOWL OF SQUASH!”
My opponent will outlaw pumpkin carving… PUMPKIN CARVING. We need a constitutional amendment…
These pumkins were taken by special opps last night from one of the Kerry mansions.. as you can see the staff carved a W in one proving that working people in America support me, even those that work for the Kerry’s..
last night we stole pupmkins from the Kerry mansion tonight we TP the Edwards estate!!!!!
Sure, my opponent’s head is bigger. But as you can see my head has a message.
“I see that Ted Kennedy seems to have left his head here on the stage.”
“And just to prove I’m serious, here’s my replacements for Powell and Boucher in 2005.”
“See folks…just like the 509th Composite Group did for practice in World War II, we’ll drop these PUMPKINS on Iran and North Korea first before we hit ’em with THE REAL THING!”
Bush v. Gourd 2004
George Bush thanked his lucky stars that he had resolved his issues with Dick Cheney’s daughter, but now he still struggled with his own personal demons and was forced to weigh the political ramifications as it slowly dawned on him that he had scheduled a campaign stop in a Hay Bar
Our efforts to spread democracy and freedom have most recently liberated these two gords from a fate involving an oven of mass convection. Monday my administration will ask the UN security council to impose sanctions on farmer brown.
“And I invite Y’all to join me in the pumpkin patch Saturday night as we await the arrival of the The Great Pumpkin! Who’s with me?”
Our efforts to spread democracy and freedom have most recently liberated these two gords from a fate involving an oven of mass convection. Monday my administration will ask the UN security council to impose sanctions on farmer brown.
Our efforts to spread democracy and freedom have most recently liberated these two gords from a fate involving an oven of mass convection. Monday my administration will ask the UN security council to impose sanctions on farmer brown.
I carved the littler punkin with the smiley face, and my opponent didn’t even show up to carve his. Who you gonna vote for?
“I’m so glad to be here today, and proud to share be sharing the podium with the Vice President and Senator Zell Miller.”
My opponent then said he carved his pumpkin before he DIDN’T carve his pumpkin.
“At this time, I’d like to introduce the rarely seen 4th party candidates that Govenor Rendell forced off the ballot. You see…he was afraid they would steal votes from the Kerry/Edwards ticket…”
“Unlike my opponent over there, my tan is real.”
“These gourds will surely vote for meeeeeeeeeee!”
George Bush amazes the Texas crowd with his amazing shadow puppet – of the American Flag – in Color!!
Okay, maybe I’m not as good a speaker as my pumpkin opponents but I have heart.
Bush, seeing an opportunity to get more women voters stepped up into Martha Steward
Bush, seeing an opportunity to get more women voters stepped up into Martha Steward
“This is your head. This is your head if you vote Kerry”
“And my opponent, Pumpkin Head, is your garden variety Liberal pumpkin head.”
“These two are just like my opponents… on is useless and full of mush, and the other is pretty but completely hollow!”
“These two are just like my opponents… on is useless and full of mush, and the other is pretty but completely hollow!”
The President did much better in debate number four… but still lost.
My opponent over there, oh wait. Heh. Sorry. Got confused. That poor punkin looks nothing like Kerry. Skin color’s right, but the punkin’s face is way too short.
In may, my opponent was green. Now, when it’s election season, he’s become orange. If elected, I’m sure he will return to his true color; red.
…and this star represents Texas, where you can carve John Kerry’s head like a Jack-o-Lantern…and I’ll help.
…and this star represents Texas, where you can carve John Kerry’s head like a Jack-o-Lantern…and I’ll help.
…and this star represents Texas, where you can carve John Kerry’s head like a Jack-o-Lantern…and I’ll help.
Trick or Treating…folks.
It’s Hard work. And, we’re working hard at it.
Despite the continual rumors flowing out of my opponent’s camp to the otherwise, I do too know the difference between the flag and a pumpkin.
On my left, my esteemed opponent, John Kerry!
Ladies and Gentlemen, here’s Gallagher with a nice visual to remind everyone how I deal with terrorists…Gallagher!
Shucks, I told you we should’ve had this debate before midnight, look what happened to my opponent!
“…and so I judo chopped the pumpkin like this”
“These two pumpkins have a better chance of ‘defending America’ then do my two opponents”.
Y’all recognize this here American Flag. Do you see a hammer & sickle on it? Do you see any high-fallutin’ UN or EU symbols on it? No sir. I look at this flag, I see pride, I see principle, I see more than two centuries of hard-fought American history that created the strongest, freest and best nation on earth. John Kerry sees toilet paper fresh for the next wipe.
What am I bid for these fine pumpkins? For the carved one, do I hear $1,000? Going once…going twice…
“So I took my hand, did like _so_” (makes karate gesture), “chopped into that sucker, and did a perfect carve with my secret kung fu powers! Let’s see my opponent do so much with his magic hat…”
“Now, if you’ll bear with me for a a moment, imagine that pumpkin sitting right over there is John Kerry’s head. Yes, that big one…”
Looks like these two have the same stylist as Senator Kerry!