I have stated before I have no interest whatsoever in sports. I realize that makes me a bit of a pariah around these parts, but it’s true. However, being in New England right about now, I find I can’t avoid the whole baseball thing. So I started amusing myself by making predictions about how the post-season would go, and so far my record is perfect.
First, after the Yankees won the first three games, I said they wouldn’t sweep the Sox. I said the Sox would come back to win two games, then lose the pennant in Game Six. One win wouldn’t get the fans hopes up, and taking it to seven would give them some consolation that they “almost did the impossible.” Losing three then winning two in a row would maximize the fans’ hopes just in time to crush them.
Then, after the Sox won Game Six, I said they Yankees would still squeak out the series. After all, they had the better record and history was on their side.
Then after the Sox clenched the title, I looked at the Astros-Cardinals series. I figured it would be the Astros. The ironies would be too delicious. First, the Texas-Massachusetts matchup in baseball would parallel the presidential race. Second, it would mean that the two teams with the best records (Yankees and Cardinals) would be eliminated. Finally, Red Sox fans would have the final chance to face the “traitor” Roger Clemens and defeat him and his team.
So, with that particularly stellar record, I’m gonna go on the record about tonight’s game. The Sox are up 3 games to none, and could win the title tonight. But these are the RED SOX here.
I predict the Cardinals will sweep the remaining four games, just like the Sox did to the Yankees. Red Sox fans will be crushed, as usual.
OK, that’s done. I dunno what else I could possibly do to help the Sox…
Update: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Please, spare the applause. Just hit the tip jar.