"Hey Buddy, Pull My Finger"

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1. McGehee September 28, 2004

   “Say, bartender, is there a Kinko’s in this village? My aide here needs to send another fax.”
2. Darby September 28, 2004

   Buy that french ambasador a beer at the end there. I know he’ll convince his government to back me when I’m president… Oh yeah, this gentlemen here is from Germany, and although he doesn’t like american beer, I’ll buy him one anyways.
3. Darby September 28, 2004

   *After a brief phone call*

   I’ve changed my mind about it. I don’t want to buy these gentlemen any beer. I just heard that their respective governments won’t support me as much as they should when I become President… Though I may change my mind again in the near future on this subject.
4. Rodney Dill September 28, 2004

   “How did I get here? Well, it had been a long night of cards and drinking. Clinton says with the bypass that he bet he could do a Lambert Leap. Then Gore says he invented the Lambert Leap. McAuliffe says he’s got the Jaegermeister. Carville screams ROADTRIP. Next thing I know I wake up over there with nothing on but a BEARS STILL SUCK T-shirt, my ass shaved, and a chicken duct taped to my head.”
5. Rodney Dill September 28, 2004

   “Barkeep, could you go tell OneDrummer and Maharichie to get a room, I’m tryin’ to watch the game. “
6. Andy September 28, 2004

   Barkeep, don’t cut him off before he signs this absentee ballot.
7. Andre3000 September 28, 2004

   So I says to Schmitty, “Schmitty, they oughtta hold a Presidential elocution once. Just ONCE! ‘Nucular’ my Brahmin ass!”
8. MahaRichie September 28, 2004

   Earth To OneDrummer…Wow that was the most Girleymanish diatribe I have ever read.
   Now listen closely…Take the ladies panties off your head…smack yourself in the face…AND BE A MAN!!
9. Andre3000 September 28, 2004

   MahaRinkiedinkperformer…

   Somewhere a birthday party is missing its clown.
10. fran September 28, 2004

    I have only one position on this . I will push in this common man’s stool with this finger, then I will push in the stool of all my fellow americans. (Except Michael Moore, the memory of his stool is seared, seared in my mind when I inserted my head up his ass during the convention)
11. Laurence Simon September 28, 2004

    “Okay, last time. What’s got two thumbs and likes blowjobs? You ready? This guy over here.”
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