A letter to Larry Elder
Last Thursday I put out one of my Bush/Cheney signs in my front yard. Between midnight and 3:00 a.m. someone stole it. On Friday night I put out sign No. 2. Since I didn’t have to get up early, I thought my dog and I would “stake out” our sign. This time I put the sign a little closer to the gate leading to my backyard. With my dog on an extra long leash, I planted myself on a lawn chair and read “Unfit for Command” by flashlight until about 1:00 a.m. Here comes the fun part . . . I noticed that the car coming down the street was slowing down and pulling over to the curb right next to my yard. Sure enough, he gets out of his car and heads right for my sign. Just as he was about to uproot and desecrate it, I opened my gate and let my dog make the initial introduction! As he ran to hide behind the rear end of his car, I promptly moved to the driver-side door, which was still open. It was a fairly nice car with power everything and still running. While my dog continued to “introduce” herself, I rolled up the window and hit the power door lock button. With that, I slammed the door, grabbed my Bush sign and headed into the back yard.
And now for the “rest of the story.” About 40 minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to one of our city’s finest . . . the Vancouver Police Department. The officer asked me what was going on and when I told him, he could not stop laughing! I followed him out to the perp’s car and stood there while he asked the guy a few more questions. Upon learning that the guy lived a couple of streets down, I — knowing what was about to happen — asked him, “Why do you have Oregon plates on your car if you live just down the street (here in Vancouver, Wash.)?” Larry, Oregon has no sales tax, so often Washington residents will buy and register cars in Oregon to avoid paying sales tax . . . it’s a crime and the fine is pretty stiff. Here comes the best part. . . . The look on this guy’s face told me he knew he was about to get busted. When the officer asked for his license and registration, the “Democrat” mumbled that (his license) was suspended. Just for kicks and giggles I asked the officer if he smelled any alcohol coming from the guy! The officer looked at me, smiled and promptly gave him a field breathalyzer test. Guess what? You got it, he blew a .10, legally drunk in the state of Washington.
DUI, illegal registration and the brand of “MORON,” all ’cause he hates Bush!
ROTFLMAO in Central Washington this morning…..
Way to go John!
Great work – I wish I had been there to see it. That DUI charge alone could end up costing him 10K, or even much more. And now he has a record.
Just a tip, John – these guys run in packs, and you stung one of them bad. You might want to inspect your yard for sightline blockers, remove anything combustable that’s right next to the house, make sure your lighting is good and put clear plastic breakin-resistant film over your windows.
Great stuff. I live in Vancouver, WA, have a valid registration, carry a license to drive, am not drunk, not a moron and I love Bush. I’m emailing this story to all my friends. Classic.
If Dems accepted there was a God…heh, in the word of Prof. Reynolds.
I call monkeyfishing – it’s too good to be true.
OMG!! That story is priceless. Too funny! Thanks for the giggles John…
Typical though..so typical of them all. My best friends are liberals and we banter a lot but it’s totally harmless…Would NEVER dream of one of them doing something like that. They sneer at me with a grin everytime I wear my Bush/Cheney tee shirt though. I love to draw their rhetoric out after a few glasses of wine. BTW…WE usaually end up at a draw because no one admits defeat. Us becasue truth is on our side and them because they are just plain stubborn.
the guy in your yard was just a thruthfully plain stubborn idiot.
This is a true classic of a story…I laughed aloud when I read it! Thanks much for sharing this, err, delightful story. Poor guy, as in, really, really poor guy — no glory in his suffering from me but, well, he seems to have bought a farm and now the bill’s due.
Bwahahahahaha! Instant karma for the idjit.
As has been said, this seems too farcical to be true.
That is RICH! That is hysterial!
It has been said that the Republican party is the “masculine” party and the Democratic party is the “feminine” party. Also, the Republican party is the “dog” lover’s party and the Democratic party is the “cat” lover’s party.
Well, today, I’d like to submit that the Republican party is the more “grown-up”, “mature” party and the Democratic party is the “juvenile”, “adolescent” party.
– $150 dollars for gas money running around the countryside
– $2500 for DUI
– $1500 for illegal license and registaration
– Night in the slammer courtesy pf the county…
– Look on the stupid face of that Demodork
– Just hope Johns pooch peed on his shoes…
ROFLMAO!!!!!! That is the best story I’ve heard in ages!
Even if this is a tall tale, it’s a heck of a yarn.
I love the smell of karmic backlash right after lunch.
Chuck, the story might not be true, but it’s “accurate”.
It says something that most of us are cynical enough to question whether it’s a 100% true story. However, it was a good laugh either way. A similar story I heard yesteday follows:
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes.
When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket.
I went up to him and said, “Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?”
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a name.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So I called him a worse name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.
I didn’t care.
My car was parked around the corner and this one had a “Elect John Kerry” bumper sticker on it.
Oh hell yeah. I think I know what Rather went through, I want to believe this so bad. So bad it must be faux. Crap
dewaun – for the most part conservatives don’t feel the need to engage in that type of behavior, but the difference is, when we do – WE DON’T GET CAUGHT!
Well, except for Nixon.
Well, except for Nixon.
Ahhhh , another Democrat that will have to get a absentee ballot to vote from prison… i’d like to see the prison poll to see how many points kerry leads by ..
Why do the democrats consistent vote for high taxes and more government intervention and then break the law to avoid the same? If this guy LIVED his DFL convictions, he would be proud to pay the high sales taxes his party believes in. It is becomming obvious that the REAL goal of the DFL is to create higher taxes and more government intervention in everyone ELSES life.